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Journal

June
6
2020

June 6, 2020

Olivia here-
Steven has been on hospice for almost 6 weeks now. These past few weeks have been filled with appointments and visiting and other days of rest. Family has been in and out helping and have been close by. Steven’s overall health is slowly declining and we continue to monitor his pain and comfortability. Some days he is up and wanting to do some things around the house or yard. A lot of times he is dozing in his chair or hospital bed. One thing is for sure, this man still wants to be outside and enjoy nature no matter how tired he is. 

 

Steven’s abdomen has gotten more bloated and uncomfortable and we discussed with hospice about potentially draining the fluid if possible to get some relief. He was able to successfully get fluid off his stomach on Monday- 2 GALLONS OF FLUID! Needless to say he is feeling relief and has been recovering this week. Although this was a relief, taking fluid off only relieves the tension in his stomach temporarily. There is a possibility he will need more fluid drained in the future due to the cancer progression. He is now on oxygen pretty much all day now and is needing his walker for stability. His appetite is low and is not eating or drinking much. He continues to show signs of confusion and is having a hard time orienting himself and understanding some conversations. All of these signs of decline have been extremely difficult to watch and experience with him. He is mourning his independence and freedom and that makes it really hard to process. Please pray for his health and overall comfort as we continue into month 2 of hospice. 

 

As a wife and caregiver, it has been devastating watching my best friend decline and slowly lose himself. I am learning to embrace the mess of grief to fully experience the journey with him. There are no words to truly describe this experience, just deep sadness and clinging on to each moment. Even though this is challenging, we are so thankful for the community of people who have helped pour their lives into ours so that we will be taken care of physically and emotionally. We cannot do this alone. Please continue to pray for our situation. We love you all. 

 

Some highs this week- having communion and picking blackberries with the Mangrum’s, spending time with the Weavers, riding in our friend Terry’s bike, and enjoying Will’s vivacious personality. 

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Comments

  • Lucrecia Howell : Hey sis, you are sooo strong and my prayers to you and your family in this hard time. Sending hugs and strength through the name Jesus Christ! 💙
    6/18/20
  • Jon Sherwood : We love you guys and are praying for all of you right now. May we all rest in God’s hope and peace through Christ. The Sherwood’s
    6/14/20
  • Nancy Goodwin : Steven and Olivia- You are all on our minds, our hearts, and in our prayers during this incredibly difficult journey you are on. We are so sorry for all the hurt, both physically and also mentally and emotionally. May God comfort and sustain you all. Much love from the Goodwin's
    6/10/20
  • Michael Smith : Steven, just wanted to let you know that you are missed greatly here and that you'll always be remembered for your great attitude, work ethic and passion for your clients you've helped. I know you are loving every moment with your family and especially your son. My prayers are with you and your family. FYI, i don't know why my screen name shows Michael Smith but i just noticed that. You've probably been wondering who Michael Smith was! This is Darryl.
    6/10/20
  • Carol Ganz : Steven, As part of the Six Feet Up family and the Plone community I want you to know we are thinking of you. Our hearts are with you and your family. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
    6/9/20
  • Beth McCracken : May God continue to bring strength to your family. Will keep praying for you all.
    6/9/20
  • Holly Campbell : Olivia, thank you for being such an amazing and strong partner to Steven at a time when he needs you most. I can't imagine the complexity of emotions you have had through this journey. Please let me know if you need anything. I am living just right around the corner now. Thinking of you both. :)
    6/8/20
  • Bill Hubbard : Heartfelt words Olivia. You all continue to show amazing strength and gratitude. Steven and your beautiful family remain in my thoughts and prayers.
    6/8/20
  • Natalie Grooms : My heart breaks for you during this very difficult but yet very special time with your family. Your strength is evidence of God's power and love within you. Continue to press into Him as you walk this path of uncertainty and pain, knowing that His peace is near to the brokenhearted. He has and will continue to uphold you and your family! Will is so precious, Olivia! I know he is a continual reminder of God's good gifts and the love that you and Steven will always share. Nothing can take that away from either of you! Hugs and prayers from afar.... 😘
    6/8/20
  • Laura Costa : Thinking of you and Steven often and praying, always praying for relief, peace, happiness in these difficult days. You are so strong. Your love as a wife, mother and caretaker can do anything and clearly is!
    6/7/20
  • Kathryn Dillon : Love you so very much, praying praying praying
    6/6/20
  • Peggy Beaman : Thank you Olivia for your words and photos. I love that Steven was able to ride on your friend’s bike. We will continue to pray for you and your family. Love you very much. 💗
    6/6/20
  • Elizabeth Figueroa : Thanks, Olivia, for sharing your heart with us. We love you and pray for you to feel God's presence.
    6/6/20
  • Jane Whitworth : Prayers for all of you...Jesus is right there beside you. ❤️
    6/6/20
  • Sandy Anjilivelil : You are a strong & beautiful woman, Olivia. I admire you. I thank you for how you are handling this journey - so early in your marriage & life as a young family. As requested, I will pray for Steven’s health & comfort. I will also ask that you be given every grace you need. Sending your family love.
    6/6/20
  • Michael Peace : Love yall soo much. If yall need anything just let me know. Praying for yall
    6/6/20
  • Mollie Mostert : Lots and lots of love to you three❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
    6/6/20
  • katherine hearn : Thank you for sharing with us all! We love your family and we are sorry for all your enduring.Your example of faith and. strength through all you are going thru very inspiring.We pray for you daily and will continue our prayers !We love ❤️ you all very much!
    6/6/20
  • Lauren Schrenk : Love you guys, and so proud of you and the way you’re continuing to love and support Steven during this incredibly challenging time. We pray for you always.
    6/6/20
  • katherine hearn : This is perryhearn. Your words were sad but beautiful. You are in both my prayers. Stay strong and let people continue to help carry the load. If I can give some advice do something special for Olivia. Let someone else hang out with Steven for an hour or two. Love 💕 Perry.
    6/6/20
  • Amy Gray-Boswell : My heart breaks for you!!! It takes so much strength to walk in your shoes. My sister works hospice in atlanta and that is where she found her calling. Their comfort and quality of life is what's important...be sure and take time out for you! You are loved!!! Praying for God to wrap his loving arms around you all!❤❤❤
    6/6/20
  • Torey Warren : I think about you guys so very much and send a gentle hug with love to all.
    6/6/20
  • Camille Mapes : You guys are on my heart & in our prayers daily. We love you so much and are here should you need ANYTHING!
    6/6/20
  • Rebecca Mapes : We love you all. Thank you for sharing your journey so our prayers can be specific. There is always more to the story than we could ever imagine. Please know you all are in our hearts and prayers.
    6/6/20