Hey Stevie,
Your progress sounds impressive - and as I frequently say to my little first graders, imagine your best friend were in this position, what would you say to him/her? Try using that as self-talk, be as nice to yourself as you are to others (at least)! Chances are you would never be as hard on a friend or loved one as you are on yourself. Anyway, I am so glad to hear of your movement forward (literally and figuratively) - I know this whole "event" must be very frustrating, but you should be proud of your attitude and hard work, and of braving the pain and frustration, and of course, your amazing progress. Looking forward to hearing your next installment :)
Already on a treadmill? That’s amazing Steve! Puts all of us who have not experienced a recent medical life changing event and are avoiding treadmills, etc to shame! While I realize that you’re not running on it, and need assistance both on and off of it, just the fact that you’re already at that stage in your rehab is a testament to who you are as a person! I also have to say that I’m glad that you’re sharing your frustrations too. You wouldn’t be human if you weren’t sad and angry about what happened to you. The key is grabbing onto those emotions and using them in your fight. It can be very helpful too to join a support group, something that I found tremendously helpful years ago when I was fighting cancer. Talking to friends and family is great, but being able to share and listen to others who have gone through the same thing can be very cathartic.
Love you! Be patient with yourself. It takes time for the neurons to reconnect with the muscles. You're doing great and amazingly. Probably the best patient a PT could ever have! <3
Steve, I would say WOW. W-O-W. It sounds like an amazing amount of progress to me. I know you can sense that you aren't all the way to where you want to be, but up on a treadmill is really a wonderful leap forward. So I can sympathize about the frustration, but I'd just like to reflect back to you that it sounds like you are working hard and getting positive results for it. I hope you rest up and have a productive day of PT tomorrow.
Worst case scenario: you have a valid reason to use a cane and get to experiment with all the fashion choices that come with being a “cane guy”. Which also opens the door to all sorts of hat possibilities.
Joking aside what keeps me going is that steady machine-like pace. Physical improvement (body maintenance as I like to think of it) can really be frustrating since it’s such a slow process. Just like with academia, it’s more of an endurance mindset rooted in determination. On the bright side, improvement generally grows exponentially. The first month is always the hardest.
You’ve shown throughout your life that you can meet and exceed expectations, you’re a man who is up for a challenge, doesn’t give up, and can push past his limits. Not to be lame, but that’s life; to face obstacles and either overcome them or be defeated by them. It’s fine to be frustrated or to get mad, just make sure to redirect that frustration back into achieving your goal. Be offended by your mind telling you to give up, if it ever does. In my experience, by the time you’ve calmed down or cheered up, you’ve gone well past your goal by using that frustration as fuel. It’s how I deal with depression and feelings of worthlessness when they poke out from the dark every few years.
You can do it. I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. In fact, this is what I suggest for your triumphant return: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sz9jc5blzRM
Oh that foot drag stuff - been there, done that, still there (unfortunately). But you have the capability to get that foot back to acting like it's supposed to! Just gotta rewire the neural passages & that takes time. No doubt you're now aware that those passages indeed exist & your job is to keep demanding that they rewire as expected. Yea, get mad at those muscles for not behaving but be patient with them. They'll surprise you.
Dear Steve - Of course it’s perfectly reasonable to feel frustrated by the pace of this process. You are brilliant, you have the kind of mind that moves a mile a second. It’s awful to feel that your body isn’t keeping up with who you really are. I would imagine that it feels like a betrayal. I felt something of that when I was in the middle of years of infertility treatment (not the same - I know) and SO ANGRY with my body at times. It’s ok to be frustrated and even angry. What matters is that you honor what you’re going through, and keep persevering as you are. You are strong, you are an invincible spirit. That is fundamentally who you are. I know you know it - just telling you that your friends see it, too. Be good to yourself. You are loved, you are valuable, you matter. Nothing will ever change that. All my love - Judi
Your progress sounds impressive - and as I frequently say to my little first graders, imagine your best friend were in this position, what would you say to him/her? Try using that as self-talk, be as nice to yourself as you are to others (at least)! Chances are you would never be as hard on a friend or loved one as you are on yourself. Anyway, I am so glad to hear of your movement forward (literally and figuratively) - I know this whole "event" must be very frustrating, but you should be proud of your attitude and hard work, and of braving the pain and frustration, and of course, your amazing progress. Looking forward to hearing your next installment :)