Journal entry by Scott Vogg —
Today it has been one year since Steve died, leaving us to carry on without him. Because of all of you, we have been surrounded in love this past year and we are incredibly, incredibly grateful. However, I have a favor to ask of you.
Please love fiercely today, September 26 in memory of Steve. Please say his name aloud, or in your head, or simply in your heart and give your love fiercely today. Love your family, friends, strangers - send a text or give a smile on the street.
Your unending love and support has gotten Alec, Molly and me through this first year without Steve. We could not have made it this far without you and your love. I want to celebrate the love Steve brought to our family and to this world by continuing to share it.
Please love fiercely today. There is no greater way to honor Steve's life.
Love - Anne, Alec and Molly (& always, Steve)
I would like to share with you something I wrote this past year about our journey.
The Orchids
I've never been able to grow and keep an orchid alive. It seems simple enough, 2 ice cubes on the soil once a week. What I've witnessed is that orchids bloom for a long time and then die, the stems becoming sticks. With my very first orchid, when the blossoms disappeared and the stem became a stick if it was dead. I tossed it in the trash and wondered how people could keep these delicate plants alive and resigned myself that I wasn't one of those people.
After Steve died, someone gave me an orchid. It had blooms, green stems and delicate beauty. Once a week, on garbage day, I would give the orchid 3 ounces of water. Taking out the garbage was always Steve's job and he loved it -- honestly - he did! It seemed like an easy way to remember to water the orchid.
I had no idea how the orchid was faring. The blossoms didn't fall off, the stem was still green. So I assumed it was fine. Sometime later, I received another orchid. Smaller but with the same delicate blooms and green supporting stem. I added watering it to my chores list for each Tuesday (a day I now referenced to myself as garbage Tuesday).
I think I remembered most of the time to give these beautiful and delicate orchids their water. Orchids don't seem to be very forgiving flowers (at least not for me) or particularly hearty, but I did my best to tend to them every Tuesday on garbage day.
One Tuesday, I noticed the blossoms of the bigger orchid had fallen off. Still I gave it water. The smaller orchid retained its beauty. Next, the bigger orchid's stem began to dry up from the end, dying from the tip to the root it seemed. The "dying" orchid was clipped to a supporting wooden stick which held it upright, even though the stem was dying. And still I gave it water. 3 ounces every garbage Tuesday.
Once again, in the past when an orchid looked like the big orchid did now, I would wonder if I had killed it. Too much water, too little, perhaps too many Tuesdays it had been forgotten. For whatever reason, this time, I didn't throw out the dying orchid. Maybe I was too tired to take it to the garbage. Maybe too much of my life had died already and I could accept no more. I have no idea. Seems like since it was always garbage Tuesday when I watered the orchids it would have been easy to take it to the trash. But I didn't.
The smaller orchid held her beauty. I watered both orchids, every Tuesday.
Since I don't really know how orchids work and the change happened so slowly, I don't know when or how the bigger orchid got a new green stem. But it was there. I had missed the existence of the new green stem for many, many Tuesdays. Then, one Tuesday I saw it. There it was. A semi-tall, definitely green stem rising from the dirt. The bigger orchid wasn't dead at all. It had gone dormant.
Maybe to protect itself, maybe to gather strength, maybe the green stem had overextended itself and needed to regroup. I don't know, but the bigger orchid was back.
A friend moved the supporting stick from the orchid to another plant in my house. She said the orchid didn't need it anymore. She pointed out that the bigger orchid now had 8 buds that would become blossoms soon. 8 blossoms from what was once my "dead" orchid. Today, the first of those 8 blossoms opened. Delicate and beautiful.
Ironically, around that same time, the blossoms of the smaller orchid began to turn brown at the edges. I'm glad I noticed before they fell off completely. My noticing them turning brown won't stop them from falling off. No, that will still happen. But now I know better. I know that watering every Tuesday makes a difference. Dormant doesn't mean there isn't future beauty to come.
- ACMH
Please love fiercely today, September 26 in memory of Steve. Please say his name aloud, or in your head, or simply in your heart and give your love fiercely today. Love your family, friends, strangers - send a text or give a smile on the street.
Your unending love and support has gotten Alec, Molly and me through this first year without Steve. We could not have made it this far without you and your love. I want to celebrate the love Steve brought to our family and to this world by continuing to share it.
Please love fiercely today. There is no greater way to honor Steve's life.
Love - Anne, Alec and Molly (& always, Steve)
I would like to share with you something I wrote this past year about our journey.
The Orchids
I've never been able to grow and keep an orchid alive. It seems simple enough, 2 ice cubes on the soil once a week. What I've witnessed is that orchids bloom for a long time and then die, the stems becoming sticks. With my very first orchid, when the blossoms disappeared and the stem became a stick if it was dead. I tossed it in the trash and wondered how people could keep these delicate plants alive and resigned myself that I wasn't one of those people.
After Steve died, someone gave me an orchid. It had blooms, green stems and delicate beauty. Once a week, on garbage day, I would give the orchid 3 ounces of water. Taking out the garbage was always Steve's job and he loved it -- honestly - he did! It seemed like an easy way to remember to water the orchid.
I had no idea how the orchid was faring. The blossoms didn't fall off, the stem was still green. So I assumed it was fine. Sometime later, I received another orchid. Smaller but with the same delicate blooms and green supporting stem. I added watering it to my chores list for each Tuesday (a day I now referenced to myself as garbage Tuesday).
I think I remembered most of the time to give these beautiful and delicate orchids their water. Orchids don't seem to be very forgiving flowers (at least not for me) or particularly hearty, but I did my best to tend to them every Tuesday on garbage day.
One Tuesday, I noticed the blossoms of the bigger orchid had fallen off. Still I gave it water. The smaller orchid retained its beauty. Next, the bigger orchid's stem began to dry up from the end, dying from the tip to the root it seemed. The "dying" orchid was clipped to a supporting wooden stick which held it upright, even though the stem was dying. And still I gave it water. 3 ounces every garbage Tuesday.
Once again, in the past when an orchid looked like the big orchid did now, I would wonder if I had killed it. Too much water, too little, perhaps too many Tuesdays it had been forgotten. For whatever reason, this time, I didn't throw out the dying orchid. Maybe I was too tired to take it to the garbage. Maybe too much of my life had died already and I could accept no more. I have no idea. Seems like since it was always garbage Tuesday when I watered the orchids it would have been easy to take it to the trash. But I didn't.
The smaller orchid held her beauty. I watered both orchids, every Tuesday.
Since I don't really know how orchids work and the change happened so slowly, I don't know when or how the bigger orchid got a new green stem. But it was there. I had missed the existence of the new green stem for many, many Tuesdays. Then, one Tuesday I saw it. There it was. A semi-tall, definitely green stem rising from the dirt. The bigger orchid wasn't dead at all. It had gone dormant.
Maybe to protect itself, maybe to gather strength, maybe the green stem had overextended itself and needed to regroup. I don't know, but the bigger orchid was back.
A friend moved the supporting stick from the orchid to another plant in my house. She said the orchid didn't need it anymore. She pointed out that the bigger orchid now had 8 buds that would become blossoms soon. 8 blossoms from what was once my "dead" orchid. Today, the first of those 8 blossoms opened. Delicate and beautiful.
Ironically, around that same time, the blossoms of the smaller orchid began to turn brown at the edges. I'm glad I noticed before they fell off completely. My noticing them turning brown won't stop them from falling off. No, that will still happen. But now I know better. I know that watering every Tuesday makes a difference. Dormant doesn't mean there isn't future beauty to come.
- ACMH
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