Most of you know who I am for what I have done but there is more of who I have become due a medical condition that I have been afflicted with called FIBROMYALGIA. But there is so much MORE to this Invisible Chronic Pain Condition that started in 2002; additional Debilitating Health Issues that have accompanied themselves Including Depression, Anxiety, Muscle Spasms, Arthritis, Fibro Fog, Restless legs, leading into Social Isolation, decreased mobility, Mental and Muscle Deficiencies to now the most Excruciating Heightened Level of Pain I have been enduring along with since November 2018 of Nerve Damage in my Left Leg. This means I have constant variables of pain like Stabbing, Tightening, Radiating, Shooting, Numbness, Tingling to name a few. I am unable to function properly just in Normal Life let alone in any Professional Manner as I am in Chronic Pain every Second of every Minute of every Hour of every Day of every Week of every Month of every Year since 2002 with no cure in site to last my LifeTime!
I have endured Battle after Battle, winning some but losing more as time continues on Year to Year since 2002 either it has become Stronger or I have become Weaker. No matter which I have lost more and more of who I used to be yet not able to connect with the so called "new" me as it isn't mine anymore. It has taken my Mind into another dimension so far away making thoughts, words, memory a scrambled mess intertwined where I must attempt to find the words to form an intellectual conversation while some form of pain is banging and beating my body distracting my mind even more. My Body hates me as it won't work right or when I need it to. I am so much weaker and less the person I once was. It hurts to move let alone perform some form of movement that results in the attempted destination. I am lost in this mumble jumbled mess of a constant fight against all that it throws at me. When will it be TOO MUCH and I end up reaching for that White Flag to end all the Battles in a Final fight that I just am incapable and maybe even too tired to continue on with the torturous afflictions inevitably losing the WAR!