Your journey of faith and submission has been inspiring. Ps 73 chronicles deliverance from death, but then goes on to say, and the thought is, if I had died ...." then, "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants." Spurgeon comments that it is so important to God that he shoves the angels aside and says, "I will personally take charge now." And Jesus says, "I call my sheep by name and lead them out." May His Presence overwhelm you.