Hello - I don't know that this comment will be seen at this point in time, but I want to share an experience I had this morning.
I lived in San Francisco from 1985-1992. I joined the SF Bach Choir in 1987, which is where I met Stephen. We became good friends, usually sitting together in the bass section, often singing in solo ensembles, and occasionally cutting up like misbehaving teenagers.
We'd kept in touch after my move to Boston in 1992. He was out here at least twice with his partner at the time to visit family, and we had the opportunity to visit. Steve and I had lost touch for no specific reason, although we did exchange a few emails here and there. The last phone conversation I had with him was when he called me to let me know that the choir director of the Bach Choir, David Babbitt, had passed.
About a two years or so ago, I was waiting for my car's oil to be changed at a local mechanic, and I struck up a conversation with another customer, Jonathan. I'm not sure how the subject came up, but I mentioned that I was a Baptist minister, and he told me he was a lifelong member of a Friends meeting here in Cambridge. I mentioned Stephen in SF, and as it turned out, Jonathan knew him quite well.
I emailed Stephen to tell him about this serendipitous meeting, but the email bounced back. I recalled that Steve wasn't always on top of his emails, so I didn't think much about it at the time.
Now, onto this morning, Sunday, 7 March, 2021. Upon waking up at 5:30 a.m., Stephen immediately came to mind. I have no idea why. I immediately grabbed my phone, and did a Google search for his obituary, and there it was - and here I am.
My deepest condolences to Stephen's family, his friends, and most especially, his Friends. I'll never forget Stephen describing to me with his careful patience, his leadership of the Meeting that had determined to sell the historic meeting house in San Francisco.
I regret that we had lost touch over the last ten years or so. Stephen lived his faith in a way that few folks ever have. It was a privilege to have known him.
Dear David - I was thinking of your family recently, wondering how Bill and Judy were doing in the pandemic, and I found this. I haven't seen you for so long, but I think of you often. I remember Stephen (who shared his name with my father of course) so well from your visits to Britain - always drawing and drawing very well, so it seemed to me as a child of the same age. It's wonderful to find out what a productive, loving and beloved person Stephen lived to be all his life. Yours Stella Tillyard. tillyardstella1@gmail.com
Thank you David. I wanted to post some memories of Stephen and I guess this is the best way to do it. He was a theater-going buddy. During one get together, I mentioned going to a show at the Marsh and he expressed interest in joining me. Later, he along with two other friends became a subscriber to Berkeley Rep - although sometimes he had to cancel due to meetings and other commitments.
A mutual friend , for whom I am the medical power of attorney, had a stroke last year and it's a very complicated situation. Stephen was a very reliable visitor and he would always call, email or text me about his visits . It was often a tense situation between our friend and the institution. Stephen's kindness and wise assessment offered invaluable assistance I will forever appreciate Stephen's great support and miss how wonderful he was.
Hi David,
I hope this finds you and Carol doing well. I so appreciate your posting this memorial. I did hear it read at the celebration of Stephen's life, but I am glad to have an actual copy. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of Stephen. I am so thankful that I spent so much time with him and am able to carry those memories in my heart. Be safe and stay well.
I join in thanks for posting this. I really enjoyed hearing it at the memorial and had hope to be able to get a copy. I wish all of you well with the days and months ahead.. I had not realized until after he died that Stephen had been at Swarthmore when I was there. His life choices are such an inspiration! I benefit from his Bible study method weekly.
Thank you so much for this, David. I wasn't able to attend the memorial, and am so grateful to be able to learn so much more about his life. I was inspired by what I already knew about him from experiencing his friendship. But I now realize that he was a real minister in so many and varied ways. And am cheered to realize that the effect he had on countless folks while he was still alive among us, has not ceased. His work, teaching, example and generosity are a legacy that won't end soon. I feel connected to everyone who knew and loved him, especially those of you whom I knew when I lived in Seattle and worshipped at University Friends Meeting from 1983 till 1990, before returning to the Philadelphia, PA area. Special greetings to Bill and Judy, I have fond memories of the two of you. Many blessings on all of you, take very good care of your precious selves. xo, Mickey E.
Thank you David, for posting this. I too heard it read, but it is so beautifully written and says so much about the rich long varied life he had, that I can savor it again now. I only knew him in the last 7 years and he opened the Bible to me in his amazing Come as you are Friendly Bible Studies at Ben Lomond Quaker Center. I had the astounding blessing to sit with him and sing O Bountiful River just before you arrived, David, to be with him as he died. His being, so alive and present, so at once irreverent and reverent, inspires me no end.
David Thank you so much for posting this. It was one more chance to take in Steve's adventure through life. I wonder what kind of a brother he was to you and Kathy, but he must make you proud. As my children get into their 60s they seem to appreciate each other more and more. Old rivalries slip away. Perhaps this was your experience. Much love to you and all of Steve's family, Andrea
Thanks for posting this, David. I received a request to send it to someone who had missed the memorial because he thought it was on Sunday rather than Saturday. I will know next time that people can be directed here.