This is my favorite time of year for as long as I can remember. First off, my cancer is still stable which is a blessing but boy it is a difficult battle. 2023 was a tough year with few ups and downs but mostly downs. It takes so long to get back up and so far is it a long journey. My wish for 2024 is to be able to function and get out of my recliner. It will happen. Very slow but lots of hope.

I had two hospitalizations from which I was not sure I would return home, June was the worst and as a result I am now on a few more medications which I have to currently deal with those side effects. I get great encouragement from my ALKie friends that I am not alone we can talk about and joke about things that might be disturbing to our family and friends. It helps a lot! i am also a palliative care patient and my caregiver is the best. Never in my life did I ever think I would have to depend on others for emotional and physical support but I would not be here to day without giving in and gratefully accepting the help. I have had to make a decision on how to manage the pain and have decided rather than pain medications to try medical MJ again. It was a lifesaver during my Chemo/radiation treatments but recently the pain is 24/7 and I am unable to get the sleep I so desperately need. STRESS and SLEEP are preached to me always by my practitioners.

The year passed by so quickly that I can hardly remember yesterday. HOPE will take me into 2024 with a better health outlook with more opportunities. I am setting goals that should be reachable.

2023 made me realize  that I really do have a terminal illness plus I am suffering many of the things that come with getting old!  In addition to my long time friendships, I have be honored with a few more who are so attentive to me and to my housemaid and personal assistant (Kevin).  He is an earth angel for sure but not sure he would admit it. I can keep my self busy with Court TV trials,  reading, talking to friends and family. Technology provides a lot of opportunities to not get bored. There are many onliine opportunities via the Lung Cancer organizations. I was able to participate more in 2022 than 2023 so will try hard for 2024.  I try to read books of encouragement and I have a friend who sends me devotions every morning and night.Neighbors often drop off dinner which  really helps the cook. This is a big stressor for him.

Another biggie for me is I have been dreaming about so many people that have passed through my life. I feel my Mother and others so close at times. I have always had a sixth sense but this awareness is like reliving my life and remembering people, places and things since my birth,  It feels like my soul is opening and teaching me more and more each day.

Unfortunately I have not seen my daughter and family since last Christmas so that is what is giving me hope for a good holiday. I have also lost many friends this year and have a special friend who was just diagnosed with cancer. We have become close as she has been so kind to us. She has an appointment tomorrow at Memorial Sloan Kettering. I pray for her and all that are having issues right now. Everyone seems to having hardships and it is sad.   I have missed so many social gatherings but just thankful that they still invite me knowing I would probably have to decline. Do not get me wrong. I am not feeling sorry for myself. I am still the warrior but some things are sad. I just have to let them go and go day by day which is the only way. Blessings to you all and best wishes for a happy holiday. Merry Christmas wit much love. 

Sherry

I posted a picture of a book written by one of my Alk friends. It was a very positive read this year.