I've included below Brian's Homily from Mom's Service last Saturday. It was such a special tribute to my Mom. For those of you that were not able to make it or wanted to read it again, we have included it here. 

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Where do I begin? Perhaps at my beginning of my relationship to Sharon and to David. It was at this church before these buildings existed, and we were sitting in Sunday school, the New Community class. I think it was 1993. While our friend Ted was up front with Buddy behind him with a banjo strapped over his shoulder, there was a brief lull – a moment of quiet - soon filled with the sound of flatulence bouncing off a mettle chair. Riotous laughter erupted – and no one in greater hysterics than Sharon. You have already heard from Grace some of her oft said phrases, so wise and meaningful. I would like to add one to the list. “If there is something funnier than a toot, I wish someone would tell me what it is”.  (The really funny thing is that for over a decade there were some who blamed the deed on Sharon. I can assure you…it was not her).

I share this not to embarrass Sharon. I don’t this that would be possible – she was so comfortable in her skin that she was very hard to embarrass. I share it to highlight a side of Sharon that is so worth celebrating. Along with her wisdom, kindness and generous heart – all of which I am about to discuss - She was fun. She was so funny and loved nothing more than to spend time with her family and friends to enjoy, just be, and to laugh. And she loved keeping the funny stories in all our collective memories. There was a season when our family lived with the Jamail family while our house was being built. Sharon caught our son Trevor eating just the candy out of the trail mix in the pantry. “Trevor, are you picking out the M&M’s? No, he said, I’m selectively scooping”. Sharon could not stop laughing, and Trevor kept selectively scooping all the way to the bottom of the bag. And on one of countless evenings at their home, I saw a bag of M&M’s on the counter that said “king sized”. Wow, I said, I didn’t know they made M&M’s in King sized – how big are they? “That’s the bag size, Sharon squeaked out behind hysterics.”

“King sized” and “selectively scooping” would be phrases I heard for years and years and years. Sharon loved keeping the story alive. And the laugh was never at our expense. Sharon did not laugh at you, she always laughed with you. It was her way of keeping a moment we shared awake in the present. What a gift. I suspect that many of you have your own stories from your own moments and groups. Things that happened at Chix with Sticks, at small group, a MOPs meeting, on a ski slope, on an Impact team or on the house boat or on one of many, many trips she took with friends. Take a moment to remember your moments. Hold them in your heart today. Tell them to someone in the reception later. That is one very tangible way we can all keep Sharon present in our collective memories.

Earlier I asked where to begin. I have been wrestling as I prepare, and I suspect (even now) that I have gotten it wrong. But, how do you talk about the life of one of your very favorite people in the world – someone who has had such an outsized impact on my life – so many lives?

It feels important to start with how human Sharon was, how normal, down to earth and real she was. At moments like this there is a temptation to immortalize the deceased. We tend to sanitize them of humanity and make them perfect little angels. Sharon would hate that. She was real and earthy and funny and very human. She was not perfect and she knew it. That is precisely where her glory lies.

When she did not know something, she would ask a question – unembarrassed by her ignorance. She had a wonderful hunger to learn. When she was afraid, she would say so. When she had a passion or love for something she freely expressed it, unencumbered by the opinions of others. When she was anxious, she would see her doctor and tell the truth about it – then take the medicines and see the counselors that helped her keep moving forward. You see – Sharon was not perfect, she knew it, and nor was she ashamed.

How did she do that? I think it had to do with her faith. She staked her entire life on the truth that she was loved and cared for by the king of the universe. She believed in the facts of Jesus life, death and resurrection and the forgiveness and freedom offered her for free. Sharon had faith that enabled her to be ok with being human, being imperfect, being herself, being messy – and yet still perfectly loved. She was ok not having every element of her life buttoned down. She did not live a buttoned-down life, and she did not have a buttoned-down faith either. She believed with all her heart, but she also had questions, doubts and intellectual wonderings. She held faith and questions in beautiful tension. One did not negate the other.

I think that kind of faith was a super power that she used in relationships with others. Let me explain. I believe with all my heart that if Sharon Jamail knew your name, she loved you. Yes, I mean that. If she knew who you are, she saw something of you that she loved. Don’t get me wrong – she was so smart and had keen discernment – she did not overlook your faults, foibles and places where you still need to grow. She saw you as you really are. But she chose not to make your flat sides the main attraction of your life. Rather, she had the ability to see and name the image of God in you. She could see the image of God that each person possesses. In learning how to receive love from God in her humanity, she gained the power to give it away to others. She did not require a buttoned-down life and faith of herself and family, and she did not require it of her friends either. Sharon grew the capacity to give love away from the rich store of love she received.

I am so grateful for that. And I think that Sharon’s showing up in my life in this unique way had had a profound impact on my life, on all our lives. She saw when we were grumpy with our kids, unfair in an argument with our spouses or caring too much about what others think of us. She never held any of that against us. Rather, she loved us enough to notice it, call us out and invite us to a new way. In so doing, Sharon stood as a marker of truth that it is possible to be seen as we really are – in all our imperfections and selfishness – and still be chosen… named a friend. Even loved.  The tenth century monk, Aelred of Rievaulx once wrote that:

“No medicine is more valuable, none more efficacious, none better suited to the cure of all our temporal ills than a friend to whom we may turn for consolation in time of trouble, and with whom we may share our happiness in time of joy.”

How very of many of us have tasted this sweet medicine…in simple friendship with Sharon Jamail? I know that I have. We are all different, better, graced. Loved.

While I think it is important to honor the woman we all love, imperfections and all. I want to name one area of her life where I know for a fact that perfection was achieved. To explain that you need to know that it is almost impossible to know the true Sharon without knowing her husband, David. The converse of that is also true. To know Sharon was to know David. And to know David is to know Sharon. David and I have run five days a week for the better part of 30 years, and Sharon, though not physically present, was always a massive part of the landscape. They are individuals for sure, with unique interests, friendships and stories – but they chose daily to weave their stories together into a mutual life and family. They faced one another, they chose to tell the truth to one another, they covenanted to lovingly confront each other and acknowledge when they felt hurt by the other. Lisa and I stand as witnesses – we were there for their hard conversations, arguments and pain. They were there for ours too. What a gift. I think many here can bear witness to the same. Don’t get me wrong, David and Sharon did not have a perfect marriage – no marriage is perfect – but their love grew every year, and they were more in love and more committed to one another in this last year of my knowing them than they were in the first, nearly 30 years ago.

And this is where I come to Sharon’s perfection. She and David were perfect in forgiveness. They did not burry the hard stuff of life and marriage – they always faced it, nor did they pretend the other was pristine in all things. They lived in the truth and daily choice to let go of resentments, anger and hurt by forgiving the other fully. The four of us talked endlessly over thirty years of life and love and our marriages. Never once did I hear Sharon use a past offence as a weapon in the present. Never did she withhold the gift of giving forth love and release. No, she was not a perfect soul, but she gave love, and chose to give forgiveness, chose to see the best. Again, she gave freely from what she received from Jesus.

And girls, that is true for all of you. Grace, Rosey, Annabel, Clara.  She saw you. She, more than anyone in the world, knows both your faults and failings and your beauty and power. And there was no greater cheerleader in any of your lives that the one you call your mother. She saw you. She sees you. She chose you. She is proud of you. She loves you. Every one of you bear her mark, a way that you are like her. You carry her spark, her joy, her wonderful sense of humor, her kindness, her brilliance, her love. I think we all see it.

Would you take a moment to look around this room? David, I want you to do the same. You are surrounded here. Surrounded by love and care and willingness to show up. In fact, if you are in this room and willing to serve, willing to help, willing to be part of the Jamail’s story going forward, would you simple raise your hand?

We are here for you. We love you. We are the cloud of witnesses that will support you in anything you need. We will never forget your mother and we will, with you, honor her legacy. We will speak her name to your children and your children’s children, and tell them stories of this remarkable woman you call wife, mother, daughter, sister and Sholly – this woman we all got to call friend.

I have spoken at a lot of services like this – bearing witness to many lives – some whose real life I knew very little about. Sharon’s was a life I knew – and I was gifted to know it deeply. Hers is a family I love, and will keep on loving as my own. Lisa and I loved Sharon, and we are blessed to know that she loved us.

So, it is with great confidence, even great boldness that I stand before you today and invite you to be like my friend. Earlier in our service I said that a day like today challenges us to consider how we live, that hearing about Sharon’s life should cause us all to think about how we love and locate ourselves in life and relationship to others. I was telling the truth. Sharon’s life stands as a challenge to all of us: a beckoning, a challenge, an invitation.

Would you consider honoring her memory and the life that she lived by making the choices she would make?

• Would you choose to see the people around you as walking, breathing image bearers of God? Would you decide not to make the faults of your friends the main attraction of their lives?
• Would you be honest in the way that Sharon was honest – unashamed, unafraid, willing to ask questions, willing to not know, willing to learn…
• Would you choose the boldness to be your real self – with the authenticity to be who you are instead of the person that people and the world demand that you be?
• Would you choose to forgive today? Release your anger, resentment and your right to be right.

If you can do that, if you would choose this life, this way that Sharon chose, I know your life will be better, your life will be full, your life will make a difference, in much the way Sharon made a difference to all of us.

I think all of those choices may require that you receive what Sharon received.  She gave love and life out of the love and life she received from God. Would you choose the faith Sharon had? It was not without doubts, questions or struggles, but it was real and true and honest and strong. She gave away what she received from God and in that way she was an image bearer of God himself. It was beautiful. It was true. And all our lives are the better for it. She would want that for you too.