So it’s been a minute since I’ve written in this. I have good days and bad days….more bad it seems lately. It’s still weird not having hair and I’m quickly tiring of wearing hats or caps or whatever feels ok on my scalp. My whole life revolves around chemo and it got real old real fast. It’s my birthday month and our anniversary is on Saturday and it just feels shitty. I feel like everything and everyone else is a priority. I wish we could just skip this month. I picked up my wig. It’s beautiful and soft and all of what I would want if I want to fake having hair. I realized the other day that my eyebrows are thinning...that was kind of stressful. It’s like what’s next?! My eyelashes!!! Gawd I hope not!!  Good news is that my hair on my legs, pits and junk is not growing anymore. I guess that’s a positive in the cancer gloom.
I feel like the energizer bunny whose batteries are on their last bit of juice, always something to do or someone to take care of and zero down time. I feel so disconnected from everything and everyone. Like no one gets me or understands what I need. I hate having to explain every little thing. It’s exhausting so I shut down and hope for the best. Kyra is gone and that makes me sad. Even though she is only gone until the 22nd it still feels like forever and she is thinking of moving there which freaks me out! I cannot imagine her not being around to cuddle with me and see her every day. Mom scares for sure. It was nice to go see wicked with my sister last night. Felt normal for once but again felt self-conscience about my appearance and played it off with random jokes to get over myself :/ I’m the only one who cares…who cares…if you know what I mean. 

I’ll be recording my chemo adventure and feelings tomorrow. Wish me luck. The last 2 times I have gotten really sick after with zero explanation of the side effects. Still have the unexplained cough (strep throat but not strep throat) hopefully that subsides soon because this lack of sleep thing is making me more crazy than I usually am…
Talk soon!
Shanon