Journal Entry – February 8, 2023 – Headstone Dedication, Manakin-Sabot, VA

Acts 20:35  “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”

Pastor Hardin Crowder of Dover Baptist Church in Manakin-Sabot, Virginia used this verse on Saturday to help describe Scarlett at the dedication ceremony for her headstone. Several members of Scarlett’s family and about 40 members of the church congregation gathered at 11:00 AM on February 4, 2023, to memorialize her life and see the new headstone and the newly repositioned columbarium housing her grandfather’s ashes. It was a chilly 27 degrees, but the sun was shining, and the winds held off until the ceremony ended. Pastor Crowder extolled Scarlett’s giving and friendly nature and reminded us of her ultimate gift of life and healing through her organ donation. He mentioned her beauty and inclusion of everyone she met. It was a brief, beautiful testament to a wonderful life cut much too short.

When Pastor Crowder finished his comments, we placed roses in front of the headstone and adjourned to the fellowship hall for lunch and a staggering array of desserts. The kitchen committee at Dover Baptist Church does an outstanding job of cooking and serving delicious meals and this one was a real winner. During the meal a projector showed hundreds of photos of Scarlett along with her friends and family and we ended the meal by singing “You Are My Sunshine”.

I am comforted to know that a piece of Scarlett will rest in the presence of such a warm and welcoming group of Christians who show their faith through deeds as well as words. I want to thank my mother for making all the arrangements and thoughtfully providing lap blankets for the attendees. She is a very active member of the church and they have been there for her through good times and bad. Her church family has given strength to her as she has given her strength to their congregation.

Regarding organ donation, there is a Donate Life license plate available in North Carolina that can be customized with up to four letters, so I applied for the plate with “SCAR” for my car and “LETT” for Melanie’s car. They should arrive in a few weeks and will spell SCARLETT when we park together in our driveway. Just another acknowledgment to Scarlett’s determination to help others and a shout out to others to participate as well.

Meanwhile, in Greensboro, I met with Mike Moye, Green Hill Cemetery Superintendent,  last week and plans are well underway to put a bench in Green Hill Cemetery with a plaque dedicated to Scarlett’s memory. The bench will be a hunter green commercial grade metal bench with two seats in keeping with the aesthetic of existing benches in the cemetery. It should arrive in June or July. Scarlett used to walk miles in the 51-acre cemetery and took many pictures there. Superintendent Moye and I will meet to firm up the location of the bench and I appreciate his caring concern during this process. I also want to thank Ann Stringfellow from the Friends of Green Hill Cemetery for her prompt attention to and compassion for this project. We will let you know when we are ready dedicate the bench.

A few weeks ago Melanie and I met with Representative Jon Hardister about modifying the NC law regarding hit and run driving. Currently, North Carolina requires that the prosecution prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the driver knew the condition of the person they struck – an almost impossibly high bar to cross for a prosecutor. In other states, the prosecutor only must prove that they struck someone, a standard of strict liability. In other words, they focus on what happened to the victim instead of what the driver knew about the condition of the victim (when they choose to leave the scene without rendering aid or calling 911).

The distinction is critical in making hit and run felony a more prosecutable crime. We are also proposing a change in the verbiage for passengers in a hit and run crime, requiring prompt reporting of the incident or face a low-level felony. We all have a responsibility to others traveling the roads with us and a failure to report a hit and run or provide even the lowest level of care possible should be unacceptable to us all. As these proceed through the bill-writing process we will keep you updated and may ask you to reach out to your Representative and/or Senator to support what we hope will be called “Scarlett’s Law.”

Thank you for keeping up with our family events since Scarlett has passed. Your encouragement is extremely important to all of us, and you feel like an extension of our own family. Bless you and yours today and in the days ahead.

Faith, hope and love,

Jay