March 13, 2020
This chemo stuff is no joke! It literally is a roller coaster ride and takes the life out of you. I have days where I just want to call it quits, but am constantly reminded of God's love and strength that continues to pull me through. The beauty of having family, friends, and co-workers that love the Lord and come alongside of you in prayer is truly a blessing. I don't know where I would be without the love of Christ.
I completed eight weeks of the what they call the "Red Devil" and yesterday marked the fourth round of my 12-week treatment which was a tough one. Every treatment has been very different. I never know what to expect and this is what drives me crazy! I received word from my doctor that after chemo treatments are done, I will have to do radiation next. I was completely disappointed and went into a depression mode. I just want this CANCER to be gone. I truly believed that the chemo treatments would be the thing that would get rid of it all, but because of my oncotype numbers being so high and choosing the lumpectomy over the mastectomy, radiation is needed. The human side of me began to question God and began to ask him, "Why? Why me?!" As I sat there waiting to be called back for treatment, I began to pray and asked God to forgive me for questioning Him and He quickly spoke to me and said, "my child do not be dismayed for I am with you and in control. You need to continue to trust in me." Wow, how powerful is that? I quickly wiped my tears, shook off the fear, rebuked the enemy of any negative thoughts, and began to worship His name! I walked into the treatment room with a peace and reassurance that I GOT THIS with God's help.
I will say, this has made a stronger person in my faith and stronger physically for my husband, my kids, and family. Thank you Lord for blessing me and never giving up on me. I ask for your continued prayers and that the Lord continue to give me and my family strength as we we endure these next couple of months.
Love ya'll and God bless!
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