Wow. I learned a lot in this last 6 days. I felt I was ready for what was coming. Some good friends who have been through this gave me the blow-by-blow, "as only women can share" details of the side effects. Words didn't prepare me for so many unhealthy, frightening things happening in an onslaught and happening... to... me. Every small change set off an alert. Is this normal? Is this not normal? Should I take this pill? Or no pill? Of course, being a woman who seldom asks for advice didn't make this process any easier. But, I did reach out and found calm reassurance from those who had been there. And also some great tips. After-hours meds delivery, "Smooth Move" tea, alkaline mouth rinse, pain reducers. Well you're getting the idea. 

Luckily my knowing oncologist booked an appointment with her the Monday after Thursday's chemo. Sitting in her office I said (paraphrasing) — WTF???? I didn't think I would get every single one of the "potential" side effects in the first treatment? And I lost 10 pounds in 6 days. Do you know how long I tried to do that? 

She let me know with a sort of compassionate smile that, that's just the way it happens sometimes. So she tweaked some of the meds I was taking, corrected some of the solutions I had come up with, and we went forward. While I have everyone's attention, let me whine just a teeny bit more. I really thought "I can't do this for 12 weeks!" But I found "12 weeks" was way too long a timeframe to put into my head and went with the "just today." Really, can't we all get through something if we know it's only for one day? And after only 6 "one days", my old self came roaring back.

So much so that if my stomach cooperates, I will be at the 10 am water aerobics class Monday morning. I may not make it through the hour, but then again I may. The water is my healing place and my body longs for it.