I have also enjoyed listening to your personal stories about why you’ve suggested a name. I haven’t really decided on one, except maybe 02 (short for 02-D2) because it requires no explanation in the hospital and I like the Star Wars reference to R2-D2. (Names compiled on picture below)

In general, a lot has happened in the last few weeks. I didn’t stay on the immunotherapy long because there came a point in time when the complications and the uncertainly of the effectiveness of the treatment led us to stop. 

We feel like the Holy Spirit was guiding the decision in how quickly it was made and the immediate option it provided to start a different chemotherapy. 

Right now I am in the 2nd week of a 3 week cycle. It is pretty comparable to my last chemo regimens in that it wipes my energy out. I’m watching blood levels to evaluate my immune system and to keep me safe and stable. The big difference this go around is that the cancer is bigger in my right lung and it is pushing on all kinds of things causing little complications. 

For instance, right now I don’t have much of a voice because we suspect the tumor is pushing on my vocal chords (more investigation to do there). It is also pressing on my shoulder causes muscle pain and tightness. But, little my little we are addressing things and we are hopeful and in good spirits. 

As far as spiritual reflection, I will say I have had a much greater appreciation for those in pain. To be honest, being in my 30’s I have not yet experienced that much physical pain in my life. Most of my joints work, I haven’t had severe injuries or accidents. Even in my past treatments, I have dealt mostly with fatigue and nausea, and temporary pain after surgeries. 

Seeing the effect that all types of pain can have on the body has given me a deeper desire to acknowledge what others are going through and to be compassionate to them.

Does it change things if we realize that people sometimes act out of their pain? That it can alters the way we think? That it can make one bitter and standoffish? (The exact same person, just one extra ingredient) 

 St. John Paul II said in Salvifici Dolores, that the purpose of suffering, as unfortunate and difficult as it is, is to bring forth compassion and a different type of love into the world. 

In other words, we can’t do away with pain completely in this broken and fallen world, but we can strive to draw some thing good out of it - love.

It’s not my first choice of things to do, but I believe God is calling more and more to this type of compassion in our daily lives. To look for those who are hurt, and like the Good Samaritan, try to bind them up. 

Thanks you for the video messages, the prayers and support. Much love!

Fr. Ryan