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Journal

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May
30
2020

Five years!

Five years ago today I found out that God had healed me of cancer. Five years.
 
FIVE. YEARS.
 
Five years! Hallelujah! Five years ago I jumped out of my seat and danced around praising God, and I do it again today to celebrate. 
 
Five years ago I saw God work in ways that I had only dreamed about and hoped for. In ways that seemed to good to be true. 
 
Five years ago, God turned our mourning into dancing. 
 
I want this to be clear. When I say God healed me, I mean the God who is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Jesus is the one who healed me. When we prayed for healing in Jesus’s name, what that means is that we acknowledged the authority Jesus has because He is God, and appealed to that authority. He is the one who everything was created through and the one who holds all things together (Colossians 1:16-17). If we had prayed to someone or something else to do it, nothing would have happened. We prayed to Jesus for healing because He invites us to ask (Matthew 7:7-11). We cast these anxieties onto Him because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7).
 
The same Jesus who healed the leper, the blind man, and all the other people we read about in the Bible also healed me, Ruth Lindberg. There is no one else who can do this. 
 
I wrote the account below a year ago and posted it on Facebook to celebrate the four-year anniversary of being healed, and so I am simply re-posting this here and updating the timeframe to describe what happened that morning in the oncologist’s office. All of my CTs, labwork, and physical exams for the last five years have shown no cancer and I have been in good health.
 
I had hoped to throw a big party in the backyard to celebrate this day with whoever could come. Celebrate with me this way instead - with a prayer of praise and thanksgiving. Thank you Jesus! To Him be all glory and honor and power forever and ever. Amen.
 
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On this morning five years ago, I sat in my oncologist's office waiting for the results of my CT scan the day before. A few weeks beforehand, God had made it clear to two prayerful leaders from my church that He was going to heal me of cancer. God confirmed it to me personally a few days later through a powerful, physical encounter with the Holy Spirit - which I had not believed could really happen, until it happened to me. Yet more often than I care to admit, seeing is believing, and I needed to see the results of that CT scan.
 
The nurse pulled up the radiologist's report on the computer screen and we read these words together: “No enlarged hilar or mediastinal lymph nodes. Resolved enlarged right-sided intrapulmonary lymph node. IMPRESSION: No evidence of metastatic disease. Interval resolution of the enlarged intrapulmonary lymph node.” In layman's terms, the cancer that was clearly there six weeks prior was completely gone. My CT was completely normal.
 
I leaned back in my chair, stunned. God did it. He really did it. And then I jumped out of my seat and started hooting and hollering and dancing around, King-David-in-his-ephod style, not giving a thought to anything but amazement and wonder and profound joy. The poor nurse had no idea. She looked like a deer in the headlights as I put my arms around her and gave her a big hug. I sometimes still wonder if she knows she had been given a front-row seat to witnessing a miracle.
 
My oncologist came in a little later, and agreed there was nothing there to treat (so no need for the chemotherapy they were all thinking I would need). We went together to the radiology department so we could see the scans ourselves. The radiologist had pulled up four of my CTs for us to look at, which is what I have recreated in the picture here. Top left was from over a year prior, when my chest CT was normal, he explained. Top right was when the lymph node had started to grow but was not big enough to ring any alarm bells. On the bottom left was the CT from six weeks prior - I added the yellow arrow to point to the pathologically enlarged lymph node which was biopsied two weeks afterward and showed recurrent cancer.
 
"And here," he said as he moved his mouse pointer to the image on the bottom right, "is your scan from yesterday, and the lymph node is back to normal. It looks like it did a year ago.” I don't think he realized he had a front-row seat to a miracle either, but I thanked him and my oncologist and went on my way. That was five years ago today. I am glad to report I am still cancer-free, and still amazed and profoundly joyful. We prayed to God in Jesus's name for healing and He said yes. I know this raises as many questions as it does answers, but one thing we can be sure of is that Jesus is the same, yesterday, today and forever, and he is still doing miracles as he did here two thousand years ago. And for that I will be thankful all the days of my life.
 

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December
11
2017

Updates and announcements

I'm cross-posting this from my blog. Merry Christmas!

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Hi everyone,

First off – all is well. I saw my oncologist in November and everything looks fine. Back in September we had a bit of a scare which led to some scans a little earlier than we had planned. I had broken out in hives on my legs for no reason. Back in 2013, the week before I was first diagnosed with cancer I had broken out in hives on my legs – so needless to say we were stressed out and scared. My doctor ordered a CT scan (which was normal) and also a brain MRI since I was also having headaches (which also was completely normal). The rash went away after a week (and when the rash went away, so did the headaches! Fancy that) and I have been fine since. Though we firmly believe that God healed me of cancer, we realized that we are still on high alert whenever something is wrong with my body that we cannot explain (just like any other cancer survivor). I trust that this emotional and mental response will get better with the passage of time, as cancer fades into distant memory.

There is the update. Now the announcements. The first is that I have rewritten my story of healing, which is now updated on this website. Please feel free to share it. My prayer is that many people would be encouraged by my story of our God who loves us and who is indeed God With Us. I tried to be brief, but it is impossible – not because I am a wordy person, but because God did such an amazing thing and I don’t want to leave anything out. Which leads to my second announcement – that I am beginning the process of writing a book about my healing. I do not know what will come of it, but I have sensed for a long time that it is something I am supposed to do. I started this website so that I could continue to share widely what God has done, but a book has a permanence and tangibility that a website lacks. Now that our two children are in school all day, I have the time to focus on such a project.

Would you pray for me as I write this book? Pray that God would bless it and be glorified. Pray that I would be attentive to his Spirit and that I would write this book with God. Pray that I would trust God with this. Aside from my children and generations of our family to come, I do not know who this book is intended for; but I will leave those results to God.

God bless you this Christmas season!

 

Ruth

August
13
2017

Doing well

I am cross-posting this from my blog for those of you who still check this. Thanks!
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I saw my oncologist back in May, and everything looked fine. I thought I ought to write something here but I didn’t. Three months went by and I saw my surgeon at the beginning of this month. Everything looked fine, and I thought I really ought to write something here but again I did not.

I apologize for keeping you all in the dark. I confess that what kept me from writing was this feeling that if I was going to write, I needed to write something profound to make reading this worthwhile. Yesterday the Holy Spirit nudged me, saying, Ruth, your job is to remind them of something profound that I did, not to create what is profound. That is all you need to do. I had created a burden for myself when really, the main thing is that every so often, I am to remind everyone that God did a miracle and almost two and half years have passed and the cancer is still long gone.

So here I am to simply share that I am alive and well. Both my oncologist and my surgeon examined me, did bloodwork, and everything looks good. Every three months they have been checking a couple different tumor markers (CA 125 and CA 19-9 for the medical folks reading). If these blood tests were elevated, it would then warrant further investigation. They have all been normal or only mildly elevated and stable, so there is no concern. My oncologist would like me to have a CT scan when I see her next but is leaving it up to me. My greatest concern with getting CT scans is the radiation exposure, so I have not yet decided what I will do come November.

I am feeling well, other than still feeling overwhelmingly fatigued a couple times a month. My kids know now that when I tell them at dinner time that I need to lie down, they are on their own for a couple of hours until I have the energy to get out of bed. It has been three years now since I finished chemo, and it is frustrating to me to still feel this way. It is not something that brings me down too much though – I am just grateful to be alive. I would appreciate prayers for continued restoration of my health, as well as praise to God for what he has already accomplished.

November
19
2016

I'm still fine! Six month CT clear

Great news - I saw my oncologist a couple days ago and had a followup CT scan, and everything looks fine. We talked about what to do from here regarding surveillance. There are no firm guidelines for someone like me, so we talked about maybe getting a scan a year for five years, or maybe four years, or maybe stop getting them altogether. I will see her again in six months and we will figure it out as we go along. I have been feeling fine, just a little fatigue at night once in a while but otherwise have been well.

It has been a year and a half now since I was healed of cancer by God. I am so thankful for life, for health, and for God's presence in my life at all times and in every moment. I look back on the last three years and I am overwhelmed. We have seen His glory, indeed.

May
13
2016

Six month followup CT scan clear

Just a quick update that I had a followup CT scan this past Monday which was totally clear. I saw my oncologist the next day; I will see her in six months and at that point will decide whether I will have another scan or not. Thank You, Jesus!

It has been a year now since God healed me. We are thankful for a year without cancer, by the grace of God. Life has found new, happy, ordinary rhythms now, which happens easily when you have health and two little children. Rarely does a day go by, though, that I don't think about how God stretched out His hand to heal me. And so I give thanks once again. Thank You, Jesus.

January
18
2016

Doing well; and more of the story of my healing

Just a brief update to let you know that I am doing well. I saw my gynecologic oncologist this past week and she said that everything looks fine. I will followup with oncology in May (and will have a CT scan then), and then see gyn onc again in August. I am feeling good nowadays, and feel like my energy level is about back to normal.

There are posts that I have written on my new site that I wanted to link to here, for those of you who have praying for me throughout all of this. I am so grateful for your intercession, and it is a joyful thing for me to be able to share with you the answers to your prayers.

  • For the medical folks  - in which I shared more of the medical details of my case. While there is a lot of medical jargon in this post, what I would really like to highlight are the images taken from my CT scans, which clearly show the cancerous lymph node in April 2015, and then that it was completely back to normal in May 2015. What an amazing God we serve.
  • From skepticism to faith regarding miracles - I had alluded to this on my May 27th post here when I wrote, "God has made me aware of my Western skepticism of anything that anyone claims to be a miracle; He has dismantled my faulty presuppositions about what is real and what is not." Here I flesh that out more, to explain what God did to renew my mind in the weeks leading up to healing me.
  • An encounter with the Holy Spirit - when the Holy Spirit knocked me to the ground. I had not expected that at all. Wow.
Thank you, Jesus. And thank you to all of you who carried us to Him.

December
8
2015

A digital move

I am so thankful for this site, and how it gave us a way to share with all of you how I was doing, and for you all to be such an encouragement to us. I am also amazed at how God used this to share something of Himself to so many - that was completely unexpected when we started this over two years ago. But being that I am no longer sick, but am well (hallelujah!), it is time for a move. I will keep this Caring Bridge site open for as long as the website lets me, but I have created a new site for further writings at ruthlindberg.com (I could not think of a witty site name that I could guarantee I would like ten years from now... but I like my own name well enough). I have a few posts up already - a short summary of all that has happened (making it short was no easy feat), and also a post detailing the medical facts of my case.

There are a lot of things that happened, particularly in the weeks between when I found out about the last recurrence and when I had the CT showing that I was healed, that I have yet to share with you all but would like to. I look back on the journal entry on here from the night before that scan, and there are some sentences in there that would need a whole blog post in order to expound on them. That is something I intend to do on the new site. I have already had a few opportunities to share some of my story through speaking, video, and writing in other places, and I will link to that content as well on the site.

For those of you who have been following along here, I will still post here when I have a big scan or appointment, or every so often to let you know that I am well. At the bottom of my new site, there is a place to subscribe to my blog posts via email, if you want to be notified when I post something new.

Thank you to all of you who have been such a tremendous support to us throughout this trial. We are so glad that we can rejoice with you now, and we thank God for you.

November
17
2015

Happy news

We are thrilled to share that I had a followup CT scan this morning which showed no cancer. Praise the Lord! My oncologist wants me to have one more scan in six months. I have been feeling good - well enough to run for 5-10 minute stretches here and there, and to do a happy dance in my room a few minutes ago.

We give thanks to the One who healed me. Thank you, Jesus.