Truthful Moments

“You have to know how to seize the right moment in a landscape instantaneously, because that particular moment will never come again, and you’re always wondering if the impression you got was truthful.”

_Claude Monet

I  recently had the amazing opportunity to visit the Denver Art Museum to see Claude Monet.  Monet has always been a hero of mine.  He was a man, an artist who truly broke the mold in so many ways.  His perspective is one I admire the most.  When going through the museum I came across the above quote and it brought me to tears.  Not just because I, too, see art that way- but, also life.  

As most may know, I lost my Dad just about a year ago.  As a matter of fact, this week is when those harsh memories from the hospital last year come crashing in like a huge meteor.  Next Thursday, Thanksgiving day, will be the one year anniversary of my Dad’s passing.  Thanksgiving Day- how fitting??

It’s been a year of hard and deep growth.  Never did I think that losing this man would be this hard and also this beautiful. I know it may be crazy to put the word beautiful in there with death and darkness.  If someone would have said this to me before my Dad passed I probably would have rolled my eyes. But you see when we go through darkness in our life, whether it’s a death of a loved one or any other tragic moment that one endures, you also start to appreciate the beauty of light.  The beauty of hope. Don’t get me wrong I have many moments where my heart feels like it’s dropping to the ends of the earth. I have moments where I am mad because my Dad, my protector, isn’t here to witness all the new. I have times where the tears just come. I know we are not perfect because we are human. So, yes we will have our moments of frustration, of doubt, of sadness and that is totally okay.  Feel them, but know that there is always so much more beauty to be seen.  There is always hope for another. Don’t let a magical moment pass you by-they are around you all the time. The times in the stillness of grief, the truthful moments of darkness, make the truthful ways of love so much more real. 

Monet talks about how we have to seize the moment, because truly there will never be another moment exactly like it.  I know at times we go day to day “doing” the same things over and over again.  This is when, my loves, you need to look up, look up at the light around you, the moments that you NEED to capture before they are gone.  Those times when you NEED to say I love you, you NEED to smile at a stranger, you NEED to savor the honesty and truth of each minute of each day.   

This moment last year when Dad passed- well, it has taught me to receive the “moments” of my daily life.  I know at times that life may feel monotonous, but truly if we look hard, it really never is.  Each moment, each day is always different- we just may look past it.  

As you gather with your friends or family this Holiday season I challenge you to just be. I challenge you to not let those moments pass by and to allow yourself to be the truthful you.  Practice mindfulness.  Feel it all.  The dark deep moments, but also feel the depth of what Love is.  Out of anything that Dad’s passing has taught me is that I would love deeper- even if that means the pain may go deeper. Because amazing, agape love is worth every moment.  Who are those around you that you aren’t giving all your love to because you are scared to go there? 

As for this amazing family of mine, Thursday the 28th will be a day that we will be grateful for having Dad for the time that we did.  Those moments when we catch ourselves saying “ Oh yay, Dad taught me that, or Dad totally said this, or Dad lisentend then, and gosh Dad sure did teach me how to love...how to love whole-heartedly and with complete vulnerability.” Dad taught us how no matter the depths you may have to go to, there is always hope to turn around and fly to the light. To transform from the inside out, to give all you have in the name of love.  Truly be grateful for the family- whether blood related or not, that is around you.  Cherish that moment and be honest and true in whatever you do.  All my love to you my friends!