My Dear Family & Friends

 

Three weeks ago today I sent you my email whilst enroute to the hospital. During my time as a patient my wonderful husband kept you updated as to my progress. I have been home for two weeks now and want to give you an update myself.

 

First let me say that God's Got This! The way He is answering your prayers has been incredible to witness. He truly is interested in the minutia of our lives. His first answers came before I even realised there was a need. A dear friend of ours, Cathy, is a physio and had some mind-bendingly simple but profound advice for getting in and out of the car. Our seats are cloth but backing into the car and swiveling your legs around is not easy when you are not allowed to use hands, elbows or arms to adjust your position. Cathy suggested using a large garbage bag as it slides - a brilliant suggestion I am still using to get in and out of cars. Plus sitting in the backseat, so there is no risk of an airbag hitting me. As well as using a pillow between me and the seatbelt as the seatbelt cannot press against my chest. All of these restrictions are in place for 6wks.

 

In addition Cathy had some equipment she's collected between her parents and in-laws she thought might be useful. She lent us a wheelchair, a rollator and a bath seat - all invaluable items that hadn't occurred to us we needed. But there was no way I could walk the distance from the car to the condo, thus the wheelchair; I needed the rollator to even get around the condo; and there was no way I could have stood up for a shower. All invaluable and all lent to us the day before I was to be discharged. God's timing is always perfect. This wonderful couple has also gifted us some delicious meals for which we are very grateful.

 

Speaking of meals I got an email shortly after I got home from a cycling friend, just checking in, asking when my surgery was to be and how she would bring us some meals during recovery. I answered that I was already in the recovery mode and thanked her for her offer of meals, which turned up a couple of days later. Again, God's timing is perfect.

 

The day Brian was driving me to hospital for the big op he was battling his 'bad cold', the one he got 10 days earlier, the cold that the Lord had protected me from, even in our small condo. God's protection is perfect. But unbeknownst to us, Brian had actually gone into pneumonia. He saw his GP, who put him on antibiotics, but he was on his knees with lack of energy. Even so he came in every day to visit, though much more than an hour and he was done in. Only now, three weeks later is he feeling like himself again most of the day, though his cough, feeling chesty, seems to return at the end of the day. But not having to cook meals was a real God-send or how I like to say, they were God-sent. 

 

I felt so helpless not being able to help him in any way but all I could do was sit while he cared for me in every way possible. On top of having little strength to stand or walk for long, I had some pretty severe restrictions, especially in the first two weeks. No lifting, straining, pulling, pushing or lifting 5lbs+ in the first 6wks. Sleeping in a jacknife or 'V' position for 6wks and not using arms, elbows, hands to help with standing, sitting or adjusting in bed. It means once sitting or lying down all the weight is on my sit-bones. But the first 2wks I wasn't allowed to lift my arms up higher than shoulder level. It meant I couldn't even reach a mug, glass or plate. Nor can I open our door to the condo as it is deemed too heavy to pull or push open. It means when Brian leaves the condo I'm stuck where I am or I have a babysitter. And again God has gifted me some wonderful babysitters, whose timing has been perfect. 

 

I came home on Monday 30th January. Tuesday night was Brian's jamming night with his band and I was determined, if he felt strong enough to go, he wasn't going to miss it. I had arranged for Donna, my cousin's wife, to come over to babysit. I was having a rough day, my lowest point since the operation itself. Everything was seeming to take much more energy and take soooo much longer. I kept saying I was not a happy bunny. Not happy at all. By mid afternoon I learned why - I had a nasty case of cellulitis on my right lower arm, from one of the many places I had been poked and prodded over the previous week. I knew it needed to be seen and be given some antibiotics. I got a doctor's appointment for 6:15pm and Brian was saying he would cancel the session (even if one of the 5 of them can't make it, the session is cancelled). No, don't cancel, not if Donna could take me. Not only was she willing and able to take me, she brought with her her famous chicken noodle soup!

 

It was a cold night and Donna had to take apart and put together again the wheelchair to transport me from A to B. The legs of the chair were not cooperating in the dark and the freezing air. She was my hero that night - totally incredible!! And her soup - phenomenal!! It woke up my tummy and helped me eat again. My tummy decided it was going on strike after I woke up from the operation. I could be famished but anything more than a sip or a nibble and my tummy would say 'Stop!'. No nausea, just full to the max and a warning - take another sip and you'll see it again. So I virtually stopped eating while in hospital but after Donna's soup, the next morning I managed a whole piece of toast for breakfast - a huge leap forward. By the end of the week I ate a full meal. 

 

God also knew that Donna could help me with the severe back pain I had been dealing with for the past week. Severe enough at times I took the hydromorphone I had been prescribed for post operative pain. Surprisingly enough the operation itself is often virtually pain-free, as they cut away most of the nerve endings. But whenever I wasn't in the jacknife position, standing up to brush my teeth or wash my hands, my back would scream at me. Donna taught me the trick of the washcloth. Roll it up tightly and put it in the small of your back, whenever sitting down, and it relieves the pressure. Miraculous, the decrease in pain was miraculous.

 

After that horrendous Tuesday however I have gone from strength to strength. I walked in the hallway, each day going a little farther than the day before. The day I could do a full circuit was a time of celebration. And walking to the car was another milestone. All of this using the Rollator walker of course. It just means I no longer need the wheelchair for shorter distances. I still use the Rollator when leaving the condo, though I can now get around inside now without it. Another step of recovery.

 

Other milestones: by the end of that first week I had the remaining two drains removed. The first two were removed the day I was discharged. What a glorious feeling to be free of them. And at the end of last week the nursing clinic discharged me as I was dressing free. Yea!!! Time to have a shower and wash my hair. What a delicious experience after being limited for so long.

 

I still have to sleep in a jacknife or V position for another 3wks, with a wedge pillow behind my head and another one under my knees. But I'm getting used to sleeping on my back and I think I will actually miss the wedges when the time comes.

 

In the past week I've seen both my Plastic surgeon and my Breast surgeon. Both are thrilled with my progress and the results so far. I've been told that everything will settle into place and swelling will subside over the next few months. Then the Plastic surgeon can go back and do some tweeking. Apparently it is normal to require some adjustments as both sides don't necessarily settle symmetrically. And after tweeking (surgeon's words) they can construct new nipples. And after they heal, they can tattoo me. I do admit I was savvy enough to take photos of my nipples beforehand so I can say make them look like this. So this is a process and I'm only 3wks in so far but so far so good.

 

The one thing that stands out in the midst of all of the above is how God brings us together in His perfect timing. To give you an example: Brian had an appointment and an errand to run afterwards on the other side of the city. He would be out of the house for 4hrs. I called and asked my friend Pat if she would come over to babysit me. She could come for the last two hours. Then the night before my friend Buffy emails asking about coming for a visit and at 10:30 at night I'm asking her if she could come over the next morning for the first two hours. She could! And just like that God has brought His people together at the perfect time. 

 

I have another friend, Jane coming over tomorrow morning for a visit and we planned to go to the party room as Brian works from home so can't chat in the condo. Now it turns out he has to go into the office and once again I have a babysitter all perfectly timed. And this is the second time God has worked out a babysitter while Brian is at work. Again, perfect timing. 

 

God has worked out timings over and over again over the past three weeks. He really is interested in the details of our lives. We just have to trust He's Got This (whatever our 'This' is); be thankful; and give Him the glory. And pray. When we pray for each other God moves mightily. 

 

I am very aware all of this perfect timing is not because of me but because He is answering the prayers of all of you righteous, faithful prayer warriors. I knew from the very beginning this was not a journey I could do on my own. Only through the power of prayer from God's people would I manage to cope. And I am coping because of you. I am at a loss for words to express how grateful and humbled I am for all your love, support and prayers. Thank you, thank you.

 

Lots of Love & Hugs

Rosemary 

 

 

It has been four weeks since my last update and seven weeks since my operation. I am very pleased to say all your prayers have been so gratefully answered and I am getting a bit stronger each day. I had a celebratory glass of bubbly last Tuesday, (Thanks Merv), at the six week point for two reasons. First no more restrictions. YAY!!! Second, I got my pathology results. The right breast was totally clear. The left breast had less than one millimeter of precancerous changes. Pretty remarkable they found the tiny amount in all that tissue but the upshot is it was precancerous so I am all clear!! No treatments required. By the way if it had been cancerous, yes it would have meant more chemo and possibly even more radiation, surprisingly enough. 

 

I was shocked at how much getting the results meant to me. I already knew it was going to be negative in my heart. That is what I believed but a part of me needed the confirmation. The relief I felt was overwhelming. I AM CANCER FREE!!!!! And I have the knowledge I made the right decision regarding the operation because in a couple of years time I would be going through this journey all over again but with the information my oncologist gave me ringing in my head - "if it comes back again it won't be curable, only manageable". 

 

As for the lack of restrictions, it was so freeing to get rid of the two pillow wedges I was sleeping on and to lie flat for the first time in six weeks. I can honestly say I thoroughly enjoy emptying the dishwasher each morning. To be able to pick up items without thinking about it and to gather a set of plates and lift them up into the cupboard - true bliss. Might sound silly, I know, but you try not lifting, straining, pulling or pushing for six weeks and you will understand. Oh yes, and to be able to use my arms/elbows to get out of bed or adjust my position. Incredible!! Just try and get into and out of bed with your arms folded across your chest. You will want good core muscles, I can tell you, lol.

 

My job now is to increase my stamina via walking, swimming, aquafit, the gym and of course the bike (on the trainer). I admit I have not done as much over the past week as I had planned or thought I would. I thought I would be bursting at the seams to get out and about. But I was warned this will be a six month recovery. I have now realised my stamina is not what it was and I am going to have to take this journey slow and steady. Besides, it was the turtle that won the race. Slow and steady, and before I know it I will be riding 100km once again. That is my goal for the summer.

 

I next see Dr McArdle on 22nd March. He's going to be keeping a close eye on me as he plans his 'tweaking'. However, I now understand what he means. When I lift my arms up there are dents where there shouldn't be, so no everything is not settling where one expects it to. But that is okay. One day at a time, one day at a time.

 

That's it - I do not have anything more to report. I think this is the shortest update I have written in the last 1.5yrs. It has been quite the journey. But overall it has been much more positive than negative and I owe it all down to you. I totally believe it has been the power of prayer that has gotten me through this journey. God be glorified! He answered your faithful, loving and supportive prayers. Each time one of you contacted me either through  emails, calls, texts, visits  or the Caring Bridge comments/hearts, you were Jesus's hands and feet and you gave me beautiful peace and the knowledge I was loved, supported. In other words you made me feel blessed. It is impossible to try and put into words how thankful and grateful I am for you following me through this journey. Please know you made a difference in my life; in our lives. 

 

I cannot close this off without mentioning my wonderful husband, Brian. Even now he is constantly watching over me; touching base; checking in with me. "Are you alright girl?" As someone who knows little to nothing about matters of health; as someone who struggles at times with anxiety, he has been a rock throughout this past 1.5yrs. He told me on the day I was diagnosed that we will get through this journey; it won't be pleasant at times; but we will come out the other end and then it will be behind us. And he was right. It wasn't pleasant at times but we have come out the other side and apart from this recovery period and the final bits of tweaking from Dr McArdle, plus creating and tattooing nipples, this journey is almost at an end. Praise the Lord.

 

I love you all

Rosemary

PS It is glorious to walk by the lake and I don't like to go walking on my own so your company would help in my recovery, just saying come by for a visit whenever you can. xox