The time has come that moms pain has ended.
I am absolutely positive that my mom heard us throughout the last few days and she waited for all her family to be present.
Today, is was not until every family member that could be here was in the room that she said goodbye. As her family all arrived we would tell her who was there. Once the last person arrived and literally took 2 steps into the room, she took her last breath and began her journey into heaven.
Last night was a long night. Those that have lost a loved one to cancer know the phases when the time is near. Mom is at that final stage. I can tell that there is no longer any pain. The coughing has stopped. I decided to sleep on her couch next to her bed last night, but with the changes it turned into all of us positioned around her bed holding her, telling her that it’s ok to say goodbye. We keep telling her that she has her Daddy, Uncle Hugh, Hughie, Georgie, and her other family waiting for her, that they need another angel by their side. I told her that I need her to be my guardian angel and to watch out over my boys.
It is so hard letting her go but there is comfort in knowing that she will no longer be in pain.
Throughout the night we each took turns playing song that either brought us to tears or to laughter. Mom and dad used to torture us as kid when they would play ABBA songs over and over. So we had to give her the chance to torture us one last time as we listened to Dancing Queen.
At this moment mom is still fighting to stay on this earth. She is refusing to give up the fight. It’s just like her character to be stubborn. I would expect nothing less than For her to say goodbye on her terms.
As the days go on mom is slowly slipping away. We tried to make her comfortable by moving her bed near the window so she had light from outside, we played country music on the tv (her favorite.) She was surrounded by her grandkids who spent the day holding her hand and giving her kisses. They each spent some alone time with her and had the opportunity to grieve the unavoidable coming loss of their precious nana. Alexus wanted her nana to have pretty nail so she polished nana’s nails for her. The Hospice nurse came today and checked in on her. She gave us medication to help comfort her and to keep her from having pain. Deep down I had hoped she was going to say that we still had weeks but she delivered the words I knew were coming but didn’t want to hear. “Your mom is beginning to transition”. I had been through this before with the loss of Michelle’s mom and even though we lost her mom in 2009, the memory of her last day is still painfully vivid in my mind. I tried to prepare Leisha, my Dad, and the family for what to expect as she slowly slips away but I don’t think being prepared is even a possibility. The pain is inevitable. Thank you to everyone who has shared memories and kind words on here and on social media. Please continue as we all read these and share them with dad as well.
I wish I could say the last two days were good days but unfortunately they were a little rough. Moms condition is taking changes that have brought us to the realization that while she is still with us physically, she is slowly slipping away and is no longer communicating with us. I am torn with the decision to have my children in the room when she begins her journey to another life. I don’t want them to remember her like she is. I want them to remember the caring loving Nana that she was to them. The unfortunate thing with caring for a loved one at the end is that you remember the last days so vividly and it clouds what wonderful memories you shared through life. The one thing for me that I get to cherish is that my mom is an amazing and selfless person and although her speech is nearly gone and she struggled to get the words out, her last words to me that were clear when she spoke them was telling me Happy Birthday.
This journey has become a celebration and new challenge with each passing day. A celebration in her still being here with us and a challenge with the steps and changes that come with her care and dealing with this horrible disease. Mom had a fairly good weekend. She ate well (well meaning a couple bites of apple sauce, a few drinks of water, and a mix of oatmeal and other nutrients that Leisha has come up with.) she was alert at times and able to speak a few words. She had her brother, sister, and mother by her side visiting her. Grandma gave her a long massage of her hands and feet which she loved. She had short visits from some family members and friends which I’m sure she was aware of their presence. We have began limiting the visits to immediate family for her comfort. I hope those that have been requesting to visit understand.
I am am so thankful for strong closeknit family that I have. My sister Leisha has been at the forefront taking care of my mom everyday. She missed her calling at being a caretaker. She is truly amazing at it. Alexus has also been there daily to assist Leisha while juggling college. My Dad has had very little sleep, he is by her side whenever she coughs or gets restless. Michelle (my wife)has been my rock. She has held down all aspects of our life with the house, kids, meals, taxes, etc. as well as helped with mom and being the mediator when emotions run high. Zack and Travis have been helpful and got grandpa out of the house to give him a break. They took him out for lunch and to run errands. Darren has been there daily and helped out with food as well. And also Linda has been an amazing friend but considered family. She has been over daily to help out and comfort where needed.
For years Rosa felt like something was wrong. She had stomach pains and had continuously went to her Dr. for help. Her Dr. continuously misdiagnosed her pains for indigestion. In August 2016, my mom(Rosa) went to the emergency room due to these pains and was diagnosed with stage 4 adenocarcinoma of the stomach which matastisized to the liver. She began chemo therapy shortly after being diagnosed. She went through 4 different chemo drugs over about a year and a half. The chemo stopped working on the tumor and the cancer so the Dr. switched her to immunotherapy. This therapy went on for 3 months but did not have an effect on the cancer. In March 2018 the dr. recommended for her to focus on quality of life and told her that there were no other treatments that would work. At this point her cancer has taken over her liver. She is no longer walking, is having a hard time talking, and opens her eyes only for a few seconds at a time. I wanted to set up this site to share her story and to inform friends and family of her status. Please follow her days and share you stories of her. As you all know she is the most caring and giving person. She has always put others feelings before her own and I can bet there are hundreds of people who have at some point called her mom.
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