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Journal

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December
14
2019

December 14, 2019

Greetings ❣️
So, the journey continues.   Basically waiting is the hardest part.  My Oncologist sent samples to California for Oncotyping a few weeks ago. The purpose of this test is to gauge the possibility of reoccurrence. Range is 0-100. The higher the number, the higher the benefits of chemotherapy outweigh the deterrents. I received a call from my oncologist yesterday informing me that my biopsy testing result was a 6.  He stated chemotherapy is NOT necessary.  I will be taking oral medication. Praise God.  Still unknown regarding radiology. My Radiologist wants to discuss my case with the board due to my particular situation being ‘unique’.  She, herself, stated that at first glance at all the provided information and test results, she would NOT recommend radiation. But, again, she said my case was unique and would be bringing it to the board. She’ll contact me after the discussion and a plan is in place.  Still taking it Day by Day.  Still overwhelmed. Still a surreal experience.  98% of the time I’m just ‘existing’.  I cherish the 2% of the time when I’m actually ‘living’.  I’m looking forward to seeing that ratio decrease and increase respectively.  Thank you all so much for the continued prayers, thoughts, and encouragement.  💕

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November
22
2019

November 22, 2019

Hello my dear friends. 
I just wanted to post a quick note thanking all of you for your support.  It’s 4th day, post-op, and doing a little better each day. . .and each day, brings something new.  A new thought, a new feeling, a new opportunity.  Love and gratitude to you all.  💕☺️💕  ~Rose

November
20
2019

November 19, 2019

Rose came home at 7:00 this morning and is resting comfortably. She wants to thank everyone for their concern, prayers, and well wishes.

November
19
2019

November 18, 2019

Rose's surgery went well today. The cancer was all removed successfully and it had not spread to the lymph nodes that were tested. We have to wait for biopsy test results to be 100% sure but it was encouraging.  Discharge is scheduled for tomorrow morning and Rose thanks you for all the well wishes and special comments.

November
17
2019

November 17, 2019

Tomorrow.  

November
14
2019

November 14, 2019

I had a wonderful visit with 💕“Aunt Jan”💕yesterday who offered guidance and insight that specifically tweaked my preparation and vision.  ❤️ 

With that being said, the closer I get to the 18th, the more ‘real’ this is becoming.  I can’t even think about it without crying.  I’m just so depressed, distraught, and exhausted...a lot of the time.  My energy, patience, concentration, happiness, and ‘fucks’ are incredibly limited. I’m hoping it’s because of the stress and anxiety, and not the cancer. 

Nothing truly puts me at ease. I’m desperately trying to come to terms with that.  I’ve been on-edge since October 14th.  1 month has passed and so much has been thrust in my face, tossed in my path, and intervened with my life. I’m overwhelmed.  

After Monday, I’m afraid that I will no longer be the person I was prior to this fight. I’m not able to explain it. I’m not only grieving the loss of my breast, but I’m grieving the loss of who I once was. 

On top of all that, there is still the ‘unknowns’.  

The only ‘known’ is the immense amount of love I have for my wonderful son...and that’s ok. 💕 

November
5
2019

November 5, 2019

I can't tell you how many times I've heard "God doesn't give you anything you can't handle".  I must have faith in that statement.

On October 14, 2019 it was confirmed that I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma in my left breast.  Mastectomy is necessary and is scheduled for Monday, November 18, 2019.  

I'm still in shock and am overwhelmed, daily, regarding this diagnosis.

The advise I repeatedly receive, by many different individuals, is that I NEED to stay POSITIVE.

I'm reaching out to you, my friends, to assist me with this endeavor and guide me through this particular confusing and surreal time in my life.