November 18, 2020 you entered this world in such a beautiful way.
I was admitted to the hospital the night before for gestational hypertension. I was quickly on my way to preeclampsia so we packed our bags, kissed our kids goodnight and headed to the LDRP unit. They started me on a mechanical method to induce me at around 9pm and I got an epidural around 2am. The pain and headaches were becoming so unbearable. Once they had started me on pitocin my contractions came more frequently and I started nodding off due to my headaches. Once the morning came we were going back and forth with heading to c section just so I could meet him alive since his heart rate was starting to fluctuate contractions. Just before noon I could hear the monitors of his heart rate getting slower and more faint (I was at 7cm and it could be hours before I get to 10cm to deliver). Zach looked at me with tears and said he isn’t going to make it and his heart rate was dropping lower than mine. I finally couldn’t take it anymore, I said I don’t care about my body, I don’t care how it’s done or if I am in pain for weeks, I don’t care if I miss meeting him by seconds, cut me open and get him out NOW. I felt like if I laid there listening to him fade away that I was giving up. Everyone came in to wheel me to surgery, I took off my jewelry and gave Zach one last big hug full of tears. Right as I hugged him telling him I love him so much I felt an urge to push and sudden pressure. I let go of Zach and said I think I feel Riley coming. Sure enough my doctor looked and sat on my bed and said “Riley’s coming right now!” And in a matter of seconds I heard her yell out with tears “He’s here, he’s alive!” And placed him on my chest where I watched his chest move and his mouth open for air.
This was divine intervention. We had God present in our room. Just as I was ready to sacrifice anything for my child, seconds from wheeling off to surgery, God heard my begging and prayers to just meet my son alive and he brought him to us before He brought him home.
The memory of him calmly taking three slow breaths on my chest holding my finger and dad’s, will never leave my heart. He was in no pain and filled the room with tears, silence and peace.
We bathed him, dressed him, snuggled him, kissed him, held his hands, and couldn’t get enough of his perfect newborn skin. I cherish every single moment I had with him, he was absolutely perfect.
You made my world stand still. Suddenly everything else was unimportant. All that mattered to me was holding you and filling your little ears with words of I love you’s and reminding you of how strong you are. You did it baby boy. You stayed so strong and I could never amount to the strength you had for us that day. You’ve changed so many lives and left a mark on us all. Your big brother and sister got to meet you, I’m sure you saw from Heaven. Although your sister is too young to understand she’ll have these photos forever to remember you by. Your big brother is sweeter than sugar, meeting you he knew you were the baby RyRy he’d been praying over for months. In his own words, he said “baby RyRy feeping, shhh” (sleeping) upon meeting you. They both gave you many hugs and kisses. As they left, J asked “baby RyRy come home?” I replied holding back as many tears as physically possible and said “no sweetheart, baby RyRy is already home.”
When we meet again in eternity, I promise to never let you out of my arms ever again. I’m no longer afraid of death, no matter where I am I’ll always have my family with me.
We love you so much sweet boy, thank you a million times for your strength, your love and your beauty.