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April 10, 2020

At 4:30pm on this Good Friday, my dad gained his angel wings surrounded by love. No more pain, no more suffering. If you have your classic cars out yet, give it a little extra rev for dad♡. He is free and whole and all around. Thank you for all the love and support through this whole journey. It hasn't been easy. Services will be announced at a later date. 

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April 7, 2020

Thank you all so so much for your outpouring of love and prayers. So far Dad is putting up a hell of a fight. I wouldn't expect anything else from a guy that is built like an ox♡. This part is definitely no fun, and it makes a person feel so helpless. He has not awoke at all since we have been there. Our family is definitely doing this, pandemic-style. We pass food through the window, and are pretty self contained in Dad's room. Once we are in, we pretty much stay in. Of all the scenarios in my head of this moment, a pandemic wasn't one of them lol. We are so grateful and feel so blessed to be with dad in these moments. One person can stay overnight, so my Mom has been there last night and tonight. When I left tonight, he was sleeping very peacefully compared to earlier. Continued prayers for Dad would be very much appreciated♡. Love you all.


April 6, 2020

Just a quick update tonight.

The last couple weeks and days have found Dad in a rapid decline. I have wrote this and deleted it several times as how do you explain that superman is in his final days/hours? We are all with him, shut in his room. We can't have any other visitors here as you can understand with the pandemic going on. I know I constantly ask for prayers, but please pray for an easy and peaceful transition for Dad. We appreciate you♡.


March 31, 2020

Having a loved one in assisted living during a pandemic is rough. I am so grateful for Veronica at Sugar Brook Villa for using her personal phone and video messaging us. March 11th was the last day I seen dad in person. He had already been having a rough go from just getting over a cold. He had started eating less and less. Sometimes eating good, sometimes not eating at all. I talked to him today again, and was told he is starting to pocket some food in his cheeks. He is still drinking good though. I feel like this disease has been so much torture for him, with the loss of mind and body. Then, add a pandemic on top of it as he nears transition stages. We are losing precious days with him. I know that our family is not alone in this, so many have loved ones in care facilities, so many are also dying alone from covid. It's a worse case scenario and my love, thoughts, and prayers go out to each and every one of you. 
On my first video call with my dad, he told me he loved me. Another call he said my name and started crying. Another, he talked a lot, but I couldn't understand him. Another I didn't get much response, just him opening his eyes. 
I had a dream the other night that dad was walking and healthy, and he ran up to me and gave me a hug. It was so great♡. 

I took a couple screenshots while talking with dad, I will post them here. 

I'm praying for all of you in these weird and scary times. We are all struggling somehow, but we are all in this together♡. Stay safe everyone♡.


March 4, 2020

Dad has caught the bug that is going around. Slight fever, coughing, runny nose, sleeping a lot, and pretty miserable on top of everything else. They decided to keep him in bed to rest yesterday, and hospice was hoping he could get better. He is a fighter, and today he was doing much better. He was up all day and ate jello and drank a lot of fluids thank goodness. You guys, I know I ask this a lot from you, but could you keep Dad in your prayers? We love all of you and appreciate all the prayers so far. ❤
The photos are from Sunday evening.


February 15, 2020

 was blessed enough to get a good evening with dad tonight and thought I would share the highlights. He was kind of quiet at first, not really saying or interacting much with me. He was sitting at the table as it was almost dinner time. Grammy had given me some cake to bring out to him and as we sat waiting for his dinner, I opened the cake and fed him some. As I fed him cake before dinner, I talked to him like we were being rebels for eating dessert first. That got his personality to start coming out, he started being goofy and smiling and laughing. His dinner came and I fed him all his dinner and drinks, and a little more cake at the end. After dinner, he asked me if I had seen Randy lately (For those that don't know, Randy is his brother and he passed away a couple years ago) immediately he realized his mistake and he grunted, rolled his eyes and head shake as if in disbelief that he said that, and grabbed my hand and brought it towards his face as if to have me "hit" him for using the wrong name lol. I'm not sure who he actually meant, unless it was Eric, but he has seen him recently. Today is aunt Laurie's birthday and I told him that and I asked if he wanted to sing her happy birthday, and he opened his mouth wide and did an opera note for me then stopped and belly laughed lol. I wheeled him over by the windows in the living room, and played music and asked him to sing. I always know when he is in the mood to sing, and when he really likes the song by the way he very first reacts to it. If he likes it, he smiles right away when it starts. Tonight he was really into 'Sixteen tons' and he sang it in different spots than he normally does which was fun to hear AND he kind of danced to the music in his chair. I always tap on him in some way to the beat of the music just for that much more interaction with him. We were really enjoying the music and then... my phone battery went dead. Of all nights, it had to die tonight. Dad would randomly sing an intro to a song after there was no more music. I was so bummed because he was so into the music tonight. My car plug doesn't stay hot with the vehicle off, so I didn't bother bringing it outside to charge. We had great conversations tonight which involved me talking and dad making super goofy actions and then laughing at himself. After almost two hours, dad started to get sleepy and less interactive, and wheel of fortune had come on the TV, so I wheeled Dad over to the TV kind of close, and he actually looked at it for a few minutes which I haven't seen him do for a long time. When I was going to leave, I gave him a hug, and he actually hugged me back and grabbed my arm during the hug. I know that sounds like such a little thing, but every time I get a "real" hug from him, it is more and more special.  Anyway, we would always appreciate prayers for him and mom too as she is home sick with possible flu like symptoms.


January 07, 2020

I got off work early today so I went and woke dad up from his nap. At first he didn't look good at all, and I was worried if he was even going to wake up. We sat him up in bed and from then on, honestly it was one of the best nights he has had lately. He said words we could understand, he laughed, he was goofy, he sang, and I got a glimpse of my dad♡. When Mom put the bib around his neck, he made funny choking noises then laughed. Mom and I fed him and he ate two plates of food, his dessert, and drank milk, ensure, and juice like a champ. He gave me two hugs, not the bear hugs of the past, but he put his arm around me when I gave him a hug. He blew kisses at me which he normally does when he is half aware. It's the little things, and tonight I am so grateful and thankful♡. 


December 25, 2019

Merry Christmas all!
 Visiting Dad today was absolutely heartbreaking. There is no other way to say it. I don't want to sugar coat it, Dad is not doing good. When I got there, I walked up to him and said, "Hi Dad!" He opened his eyes and looked at me and said hi back. I told him Merry Christmas, and he said Merry Christmas back. I showed him the presents I brought him, and that's when he started crying. Sobbing really, with big crocodile tears running down his face. I quickly found him a song to listen too, and today of all days, Christmas songs made everything worse. I changed up the songs and tried to help him open his presents. I put his hand on the wrapping with mine over his and tried to squeeze his fingers together to pull the paper. That didn't really work too well. I opened them and tried to feed him his beef sticks we got him, and we did get him to eat one whole one, but we really had to work at it. By then his dinner had come and he ate all his burger and a couple fries, and drank all is malt. He is still struggling every step of the way with eating, so we considered that successful. 
After dinner he just shuts down pretty much. 
Dad has always loved Christmas. His dad was Santa to all the kids back in the day, and the love of all things Christmas has been passed down through the generations including onto myself. That's why christmas music has always been what I use to cheer us up, no matter the month. He seems to know the words more to them than any other through this whole disease. Tonight that didn't work. I've always thought Dad knows more than what anyone gives him credit for, and I think he knew that it was actually Christmas, and he didn't get to have a "normal" one at home with all the family. Nothing tears your heart out more than wanting the same thing that he wants so bad. Sometimes I just want to rewind time and feel that normal again. I wouldn't say we ever took it for granted, but we only knew what normal felt like back then. So to all of you who still get the normal in life, just hug your people for me.