It's hard to believe it's already been a year. In many ways I'm grateful for the speed in which time has passed.  This dash, the thing that represents an undeterminable amount of time between 1/16/23 and when we'll see Rebecca again, the now and not yet, the in between, the goodbye for now...who knows how long that dash will be? But every day that passes is one day closer to seeing her again.

Most of the year has been just sitting in silence with God, as grief often has few or no words. He is well acquainted with grief himself and there is a beautiful intimacy as Psalm 56:8 describes"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book."  You track, collect, and record things of significance for people who are significant to you. If this doesn't describe God's love, care, and intimate acquaintance with the details of our lives, I don't know what does! This year was also learning how joy easily and rightly mixes in with sadness and grief. There were many sad firsts but also many amazing new firsts as we missed Rebecca while creating new memories and experiencing really fun things in life. As Pastor Pat said at Rebecca's funeral, we can have a hope-filled reality even in the midst of loss. 

I think Psalm 84:6-7 in The Passion Translation beautifully sums up the year for me:
“Even when their paths wind through the dark valley of tears, they dig deep to find a pleasant pool where others find only pain. He gives them a brook of blessing filled from the rain of an outpouring. They grow stronger and stronger with every step forward, and the God of all gods will appear before them in Zion.”

We don't experience pain and suffering without also receiving comfort (2 Cor 1). God has continuously poured out His peace, love, grace, blessing, joy really, with every text message, card, note, letter, prayer, conversation, flower, gift, meal, vacation, cloud formation, and shared memory this year. People who creatively raised funds to donate to various organizations in Rebecca's memory. Friends who wrote about Rebecca as part of their college applications and shared how she influenced what they want to do. People who're taking risks and doing things they hesitated to do before. And the list goes on. Every step forward as we continue to move forward in life we get stronger and stronger. Thank you for remembering Rebecca and honoring her life ❤️!

Today we're remembering Rebecca differently. Yesterday, Tom and I got tattoos with some friends, bubble tea and cupcakes delivered, vanilla scones, and pho. Today is a snow day, which I think Rebecca requested and absolutely would've loved! Aaron has been begging for snow. Besides playing in the snow, it would've meant books, being able to stay in her favorite clothes (pajamas), and hot cocoa. Tonight is the launch of a friend's latest book, so we're going. Rebecca was at her last book launch a few years ago and we can't think of a better way to remember Rebecca than by being there!