Journal entry by Colleen McNeese —
When I was explaining death to Zoe, this what she said to me. I love it! Dad loved his double espresso and shot in the dark. His favorite places were coffee shops. Maybe heaven has a Starbucks ☕️.
This morning my father passed away. He was peaceful. My sister was with him at the hospital. I got there later. I was glad to say my goodbyes before the nurses came and did what they had to do with him to prepare for the hospital morgue.
The nurses gave my family our space and time. Also they gave us hugs and tissues.
On my birthday I had nice day with him. My dad and I had a few good conversations. He mostly slept as I sat and held his hand. We listened to to classical music and jazz. He told me I was kind and thanked me for sitting with him.
I am so grateful that during his three weeks in the hospital that many friends and family were sending their love and support. Our neighbors were so kind and encouraging to us. George’s family is very supportive too.
I am glad my siblings and I were with him Saturday.
We are now arranging for a cremation.
Then we decide on when to do a celebration of life.
Already I feel his presence. At Dairy Queen a song came on from one of his favorite movies. I laughed then teared up.
We ate at the Varsity on Jimmy Carter today and it was hard because we wanted to text him what to see what he wanted. 😞
Tonight we rest.
I miss him so much. Yesterday I saw Bassets All Sorts Licorice candy and wanted to get but I knew he had stopped eating.
Things asked people not speak with me about.
1. I know it’s the south and salvation is important to good southern Christians but please do not speak to me or my family about it. God is way bigger than we can imagine.
2. Please don’t tell me not to cry or how to mourn. I’m going to cry and mourn my father. I may laugh too. I may be happy or extremely sad or even angry. I believe in tears that heal. I believe if I don’t mourn I’ll not be healthy. I’m going to mourn. Mourning has no expiration either.
Again much love to those who stood with us.
This morning my father passed away. He was peaceful. My sister was with him at the hospital. I got there later. I was glad to say my goodbyes before the nurses came and did what they had to do with him to prepare for the hospital morgue.
The nurses gave my family our space and time. Also they gave us hugs and tissues.
On my birthday I had nice day with him. My dad and I had a few good conversations. He mostly slept as I sat and held his hand. We listened to to classical music and jazz. He told me I was kind and thanked me for sitting with him.
I am so grateful that during his three weeks in the hospital that many friends and family were sending their love and support. Our neighbors were so kind and encouraging to us. George’s family is very supportive too.
I am glad my siblings and I were with him Saturday.
We are now arranging for a cremation.
Then we decide on when to do a celebration of life.
Already I feel his presence. At Dairy Queen a song came on from one of his favorite movies. I laughed then teared up.
We ate at the Varsity on Jimmy Carter today and it was hard because we wanted to text him what to see what he wanted. 😞
Tonight we rest.
I miss him so much. Yesterday I saw Bassets All Sorts Licorice candy and wanted to get but I knew he had stopped eating.
Things asked people not speak with me about.
1. I know it’s the south and salvation is important to good southern Christians but please do not speak to me or my family about it. God is way bigger than we can imagine.
2. Please don’t tell me not to cry or how to mourn. I’m going to cry and mourn my father. I may laugh too. I may be happy or extremely sad or even angry. I believe in tears that heal. I believe if I don’t mourn I’ll not be healthy. I’m going to mourn. Mourning has no expiration either.
Again much love to those who stood with us.
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