Journal entry by Molly Brooke

Well, yesterday we laid our sweet sweet Angie to rest.  Absolutely the hardest day of all of our lives.  She was taken way too soon.  Even though she fought for over a year, she was taken way too fast.  She was the rock of our family.  The glue that holds our family together, the one everyone went to when we needed advice, a sympathetic ear, or a shoulder to cry on.  She got us!  She understood!  She didn't judge!  She knew exactly the right thing to say, do, or not say, not do.  Never in a million years would I have guessed she would be the first to have to leave us all.  Our daughter, sister, wife, mom, aunt, teacher, speech pathologist, friend and best friend!  By the tremendous outpouring of cards, donations, attendance and support throughout all of this, I can honestly say that others saw her exactly the same way we did.  What a gift she was to us all!  Like my son Charlie said when we told him she had passed... "God picked the best flower from the garden".  How true is that?  Thank you!  Thank you everyone for all of your love and support and encouragement throughout this horrible time in our lives!

Mom and dad were both able to make it down to attend the visitation and funeral.  They stayed with me and managed to get through it all.  Mom said either we both come down or we both miss it as she wasn't going to leave dad with anyone else (rightfully so).  I feel it went as well as it could have, given the circumstances.  Dad still has his incredible sense of humor, which keeps us on our toes, and always laughing.  However, he tires much easily.  He isn't as easy going as he normally is, and is anxious to get going when he is ready to go... Whether it be home or bed or exercise or whatever.  Many a time my phone calls end with mom yelling 'honey, honey, where are you going?' and then telling me she will call me back later as she has to follow dad wherever he has decided to go.  (she never fails to tell me she loves me before hanging up though).  It was a long, exhausting day(s)... And for sure the hardest day in dad's 85 years!   I am sure dad (and mom) are resting for much of today.  Don't think dad will have too much energy today for much of anything other than sleep.  Dad's appetite comes and goes(more absent lately).  He still vomits, with not really any rhyme or reason.  It seems eggs are the food choice, and one that he can keep down.  He depends on mom and she is such a rock through it all.  Here she is having to grieve her daughter's(and best friend) death, and yet maintain her sanity enough to take care of dad.  (I am having a hard time knowing what day it is yet she has to remember dads pills and what he needs when and how much and all.)  Dad is grieving as well but... He also isn't thinking as clear due to his medications and illness.  Kind of in la la land at times.  Mom has to keep going, and not really take time off for herself to grieve because dad needs her and to be taken care of.  Ugh!  Death never comes at a good time but... If there ever was a bad time for mom, I would say this is one of them.

Anyway, I really do not intend to make this such a downer of an entry, but right now, I am just expressing what it is for us.  Can't see much light right now.  I know they say everything happens for a reason but... I just do not see a reason here at all.  Only a huge void in my life.  I know I am not the first one, or only one to go through this, or something similar, but if we could find a cure for this cancer, it would save the world alot of heartache.  Hopefully soon it will happen!  I have to have faith, even when I question it.  It is the only thing that will help me get through this. 

As evident by the outpouring of love and support over the last couple of days, Angie exhuded kindness to no end as she reached so many people in so many ways.  So with that note, I will still end with the advice ... Always be kind!
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