Paula’s Story

Site created on July 5, 2012

On the longest day of the year, and it lived up to it's name, Thursday June 21, 2012 Paula was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer by Santa Rosa Oncologist Dr. Brett.

This is our CaringBridge site. We've created it to keep friends and family updated in one place so we can focus on being caregivers and not have our time consumed with endless phone calls giving updates. This will be the best place for you to learn what is happening, share your well wishes and learn of changes.

We appreciate your support and words of hope and encouragement during this time when it matters most. 



It seems like this all started back in December 2011. My stomach was bothering me and I was already scheduled to see my doctor for my normal annual female exam. I actually felt a little silly saying that my stomach's been bothering me. So at the time she prescribed a ultrasound to be done on my upper and lower abdomen. There didn't seem to be anything abnormal with the test results.

At the end of February, my tummy was still bothering me and now my far right side gallbladder area was painful. And I had a stitch in my side. It really hurt to laugh. Saw the doctor and I was prescribed a stomach acid reduction medication which I took for 1 month and it worked.

In May, I was thinking I needed to see a gastroenterologist because my abdomen and gut were now bothering me and I didn't know if I had picked up up bug or parasite while on vacation in the middle East.

In June, I was scheduled to visit my gynecologist & my GP scheduled an appointment to see a gastroenterologist. The appointment was scheduled for six weeks out. My GP decided to schedule a CT scan to rule out any gastroenteritis or irritable bowel disease, CT scan scheduled for June 18.

June 19, I visited my gynecologist I had an ultrasound done of my uterus and ovaries. This was typical first visit stuff. Dr. Drexler discovered I had some major cysts/masses on my ovaries and fluid in my abdomen. He reviewed my CT scan and ordered a visit with Dr. Peter Brett, oncologist in Santa Rosa. Dr. Drexler felt I possibly had stage III ovarian cancer based on the fluid in my chest, fluid in my abdomen and some bumps in my omentum (the fat layer by the stomach). Nothing confirmed my condition, so a CA – 125 blood test was ordered (CA stands for cancer antigen) biopsies are not regularly taken so that things are not disturbed.

June 20, I had a hard time breathing and I called my friend Hannah, who accompanied me to see a pulmonologist who would do a lung tap. The lung tap took 2 liters of fluid off my right lung pleural area and this fluid would then be tested. I could breathe again . The fluid tested atypical and no cancer cells found. The next day I would be visiting the oncologist with Lindsay and Carrie.

Newest Update

Journal entry by Carrie Wurlitzer

Sep 24, 2021 would have been my Mom's 71st Birthday.  She would have wanted a blow out PARRRRTAAY for 70 and then we would have had to convince her not to in the midst of COVID.  She'd still be wearing bright colors  and a T-shirt that says 'Don't I look great for 75?' because she's funny like that.   But she's not here anymore and life goes on....

In these past years, David and Jasmine got married, are still living in Sacramento and continue to build their rental house empire, constructing one ADU at a time. He is still working in industrial refrigeration (like the meat counter or freezer aisle at a super market) and really liking it.  Life is good and they are happy. 

My baby, William, from last time I posted is now 5 and just started kindergarten! My daughter Lindsay is now in 2nd. We are growing roots, building our village and love living in Terra Linda part of San Rafael, CA.  An apricot tree is growing happily in the backyard, with a turquoise garden gnome keeping it company both as a small tribute to my mother, and I decorate in teals for September and proudly wear my 'Cancer Sucks' shirt to celebrate her birthday month.   We survived the past 18 months of the craziness that it was. I channeled my inner Paula and went all out for holidays (especially turning our house into Hogwarts for Halloween), fairies doors in the backyard, canning tomatoes, sewing with the kids, and sooooo many board games and blanket forts.  We dressed in elf pajamas and delivered Christmas cookies to friends and neighbors.  In the spring, I bravely volunteered to coach TeeBall to 4,5 &6 year olds and surprised myself by how much I LOVED it--I mean my own two drive me nuts because I live with them, but a group of 12 of them for an hour is totally fun. This past summer was filled with a "Summer of Fun bucket list", smores in the backyard, and 4 new chicks added to our backyard flock (Minerva, Myrtle, Hedwig & Ginny....can you tell the kids are obsessed with Harry Potter??).   In October, Charles and I will celebrate 15 years since our "I Dos".  Life is good, and we are happy.   

My dad has remodeled much of the house, which my parents had fantasized about for years but he finally executed. It is beautiful!  The silver lining was that almost everything had to move out, which meant we could be selective as we moved stuff back in. We gave ourselves permission to 'de-paula' the house in the process, but still leave meaningful small tributes and memories of her.  Now it's my Dad's house, and that feels right.  Two years ago (2019) we had our first Christmas there since mom had passed, and it was hard, but good.  We all had needed enough time to pass before we could tackle that one last big tradition that my mother was such a large part of.   I had hosted it the years before that and it was nice to make some new traditions too.   We all pitched in, all argued about the best way to cook a prime rib (also a tradition, the eating of AND the debate on how to cook), wore matching family pajamas and laughed when our scout elves toilet papered the 16' Christmas tree.  We had a great time and I know she was smiling down on us making new memories, new traditions.  Life is good and we are happy. 

Dad doesn't know I'm about to write the next part....To further prove the amazing woman my mother was and the power of the love that my parents had, some of you know, some might not, my mother was on a mission to find my father's next great love before she passed. She knew that he had a lot of living left to do and much love to give.  My parents would talk about whom might be compatible, whom not. David and I knew of this but were only mildly involved, as it was such an intimate topic by nature.   I'm thrilled to say my father is happily dating this wonderful woman and is extremely happy.  They are extremely compatible, just as my mother has suspected.  She is a wonderful fit into the family and is much loved by all of us.   People ask if she knows that my mom picked her, and she does. The next question usually is "yeah but isn't that weird to her?" to which we reply "it wouldn't have work out if it did--this is whom we are".    Thanks Mom for finding Dad a keeper!!  Proof that love is so very powerful and that life indeed does go on. 

He spends his time between the various places he loves with the ones he loves, from his house to her house, the cabins, the ranch in Chico. He's a busy guy, with lots of living and loving left to do, just like my mom knew.  Life is good and he is happy. 

Mom knows all this, as she watching down on each and every one of us.  But sometimes I just need to tell her out loud  that I miss her, especially when someone comments on my kids beautiful bright blue eyes and they respond with a "Thank you, I got them from my mommy" just like I used to do when I was little. I smile and think of her every single time, thankful for my blue eyed mama and my blue eyed kids. 

Happy Birthday Mom, I hope you are drinking your Mumm, toasting to yourself and to us!  Know that life is good and we are happy.   

Thank you all for being part of our village, supporting our family in good times and bad. We were glad to have you on this journey with us, and the journeys to come.  We hope life is good and you are happy.  Hug your loved ones, don't go to bed angry, be gentle with yourself and others and ALWAYS drink the good champagne!  Cheers to Paula!

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