It has now been 7 months since you declared you are going ahead and writing a book. My question is how is it coming along? I would imagine that you began writing the book before you ever made the declaration. Just want you to know that I am cheering you on and praying for the entire process to bring continued healing for you and down the road will help hundreds and hundreds of others who find themselves having to make a similar journey. Blessings over you and strength and courage to keep moving forward. ✝️ 💟

John,
Thinking of Nickie and your family today. Sending a prayer your way.

Congratulations on taking the first step to writing your book! Here's a fact, your mom and I both will buy it! You write amazingly! (Just a reminder: I knew Nikki from the time she was a little girl through church at Grace Lutheran in Lexington.)

Fourteen years ago, I lost my husband to suicide. Now, fourteen years later, I see something or someone, and have a fleeting thought, I need to remember to tell Craig. Will that ever end that I think of him first?

The one thing that spoke to me here is your "medium." How do you tell someone that today really stinks, that you are sad, but most days, you are meerly surviving some days with happy times mingled in and coming more frequently than at first. Yes, medium would have been the perfect response!

I also remembering that non one else shared my experience. My mom had lost her husband, but not to suicide. She couldn't understand the pain, the guilt, etc. My kids were battling their own hell. They needed me strong, so much of what I was going through, I hid from them, letting it out after they were in bed, sound asleep. Sometimes, I feel I buried it so deeply from them that I didn't deal with it myself until after my youngest moved to college.

You are so eloquent in your story-telling, a story all of us wish no one had to go through. Please, please write this book. The picture you will paint will bring peace and hope to all those who follow. God bless you and your family as you continue this journey through life. --Terri Casper

John you are an amazing and talented person. I would also buy your book, along with copies for others! You’ve made a lasting impression on me and could reach so many others through a book.

I will buy the book! And I don’t even know you or your wife Nicole! I started following your page a while ago after a friend on Facebook posted her site. But I feel like I know you and your entire family now! Write the book❤️ I can’t wait to read more of your Amazing love story!

This is great news!!! I told you a while ago how much I enjoy books about personal experiences. I will buy it for sure! And it will be a great way to help others through the journey your and your family are going through. I love your analogy of "medium"...hey is like when the weather is not too hot and not too cold...thank you for sharing your life with us :)

You do have a gift, John. Your messages always make me laugh and cry. I think the laughing and crying are part of the grief experience. Your "medium" sounds so normal for a person caught in grief for the loss of a loved one. Yep, grief can wallop you upside the head when you least expect it. I remember following a man into a store when it hit me hard. My father in law had passed just a few months prior. The man I was walking behind walked like Papa, he dressed like Papa and held his head like Papa. I almost grabbed his arm, but I pulled up short realising that it wasn't Papa. I just stood there in the doorway and bawled. I see Lucas in Jonah so much too. I watched Lucas play soccer a lot when he was in high school. Jonah runs just like Lucas used to. Watching Jonah run gets to me. Seeing some of his expressions gets to me. Lucas always makes his presence known to me. Sometimes it is like a whisper and sometimes it is a wallop. Keep on keeping on...

You have such a gift of writing. I imagine a book would be a gift to anyone who reads it. Grateful for your update. Medium is where you are and that’s ok. Your honesty is what really moves me. I’ve always appreciated it. Thinking of you all and here for you always!

As always ...beautifully written. Can’t wait for the book. I’m anticipating a best seller. Really

John, before I even finished reading the entry above, I copied your update and sent to my husband to read because you have such a gift with words and expressing thoughts and feelings. I laughed out loud & also cried real tears, all within the span of a few short paragraphs. Your book is already started in these journal entries on CB. I know I'm not alone in saying that - each of your updates were so thoughtful, meaningful, honest, funny and just so REAL. You have a gift and I'm so glad you have decided to write that book that Nickie encouraged you to write! I have thought "he should write a book" the entire time you have been posting for Nickie. You really do need to share - I know I would buy, and gift your book to people that I knew that need it. Thank you for reaching out via CB to keep us all in the loop. Please continue to do so as I for one look forward to your thoughtful (and funny... thanks for the visual w/ the "big dumps/pj" trash run) updates. I mean... how perfect is "medium"? Having gone through loss, that is spot on. Thinking of you and your family often and praying for all of you. Jessica Whitney