A year ago today I had lost the most beautiful woman ever my mom Nicole who sadly passed away from her battle with colon and liver cancer, she was a fun, loving, kind, funny and full of life. When I first heard that my mom had colon cancer I was freaking out because I thought that I was going to lose her, my mom calmly told me that the doctors had found it early before it got worse. When she got her first surgery my grandmother stayed with me at the old house until we know that my mom’s surgery was done, my mom had FaceTimed me to tell me that she’s doing ok and that the surgery went well. The next day I went to visit her in the hospital and we talked, we laughed, I was really happy to see my mom smile again. In February after my 31st birthday my mom found out that the cancer had gotten worse but she didn’t tell me (I didn’t know why she didn’t tell me) the cancer had progressed to her liver, well I was going to both work and the day program while this was happening. On February 28th my mom had texted me saying that uncle Chris was going to stay with me while she was getting surgery and that he’ll take me to visit her........ now here’s the sad part, I never thought that this would’ve been my last and final conversation with my mom. Well that morning I went to the day program and I was talking to the staff about what’s going on. When I came home from the program I had texted uncle Chris asking him if my mom was awake, he told me that she was still having surgery and that she wasn’t done yet. After talking to uncle Chris, I had gotten a phone call from uncle Eric telling me that he was going to pick me up from the old house to take me to his house until we know that my mom was doing ok, while I was at uncle Eric’s house I was texting uncle Chris and he told me that my mom has woke up from surgery and she was talking and laughing with him, he told me that he’ll pick me up the next day from uncle Eric’s house to visit her, I was really excited about seeing my mom again unaware that this would be my final moments with my mom. On the morning of February 29th at 4:45am I was sleeping in my grandmothers room when uncle Eric came into her room, he told my grandmother something about my mom, I overheard him saying that my mom had 3 heart attacks, I then woke up crying. Uncle Eric tried to calm me down but I was so upset. Uncle Eric and my aunt sari went to the hospital to meet up with uncle Chris, while I stayed at the house with my grandmother. On March 9th I was at the movies with aunt mariella, aunt Shelly, aunt Cindy, I didn’t know that my mom had passed. When I came home from the movies I was about to go into my room and wait until my mom called me, but before I could do that uncle Chris told me to sit down, he began to by saying that my mom had passed away and that she couldn’t wake up from the coma she was in, it was at that very moment that my life had changed I was crying all day long, I never thought I would lose my mom at a young age, she was fun, funny, loving and she was always smiling.

At this time I want to thank everyone who knows how much my mom meant to me and how much I truly loved her, my uncles Chris, Eric, Gary, Djuan, my grandmother Cynthia, my aunts Megan, Sari, my friends Stacia, Emily, Rakel, my mom’s friends (my extended family) Shelly, aunt Lisa, aunt Mariella, aunt Kim, Tina, aunt Tia, Ann, aunt Cindy,

I also like to thank my beautiful mom for always being there for me, mom you’ve been such a huge impact on me, I actually wrote a song last Monday and it’s called *my inspiration* I talk about how you have inspired me to do everything that I do now, I looked up to you and whenever I needed help with stuff you were there to help.

RIP tell my dad and aunt Kris I said hello


P.S I have great memories of my mom mostly funny ones, we loved to travel, my mom first introduced me to her love of for Prince, Michael Jackson and George Michael, I actually inherited that from her. In fact yesterday before coming to uncle Eric’s house I was listening to Prince, the song was “1999” and I was thinking about the time from when I was in my mom’s car with her and I would sing it with her, as I was thinking about that I cried, but then I smiled.

I can’t believe that it’s a year already it doesn’t seem that long💜

March 9th is coming up and I’m dreading it and here’s why, the day will mark a year ago since the passing of my mother Nicole James who sadly passed away last year in this month, I had just turned 31 when my mom had found out that she had been diagnosed with colon cancer, I was extremely nervous and very upset because I seriously thought I was going to lose her, well she told me that the cancer was at stage 1 and that they had found it in time. But sadly it had gotten worse. I was at uncle Eric’s house when my mom had the heart attacks, see I was actually sleeping when uncle Eric told my grandmother what happened, I then woke up crying hysterically. On the day of my mom’s passing I was actually at the movies with the ladies I didn’t know what happened until I got home. March 9th was the day my life had changed. I actually want to thank the people who are in my life, first I want to thank my beautiful mom Nicole who has/had been in my life since day 1, she has helped me out with anything and plus I could talk to her about absolutely anything, my mom got me through my remaining years of high school, and pretty much half of my adult years up until she had gotten sick. I actually really enjoyed hanging out with her (even though I didn’t really show it) I loved her terribly (I’m actually tearing up as I’m writing this) I want to thank auntie Megan, uncle Chris and Olivia for hanging out with me, in fact aunt Megan stayed with me at my old house while my mom was getting her last surgery. She made sure I was going to work and the day program every day. I want to thank uncle Chris for everything he has done for me since my mom’s passing. I want to thank auntie Sari, Uncle Eric, and my grandmothers for helping me out with the sudden loss of my mom. I want to thank uncle Gary and uncle Djuan for hanging out with me and distracting me from knowing what really happened to my mom.

And to my mom’s friends, I’m thankful for them too, auntie Lisa, auntie mariella, Tina, auntie Ann, auntie Tia, auntie Cindy (yes I do consider them family) they had promised my mom that they would take care of me and do the stuff I used to do with my mom, and they did, like: Last year in December during Christmas time Mariella had invited me to her wine and ornament party (a tribute to my mom) we shared our favorite memories of my mom and her parties, we went to brunches and we laughed and shared great stories, they had a birthday party for me last month. After the party, Mariella had added me to the group text so I could keep in touch with the ladies and plan out our next outing.

Mom I wrote you a beautiful letter last night, I actually cried while writing it I’ll read it to you on Tuesday here’s what it says


“Dear mom when you first told me that you had colon cancer I was extremely upset and scared that I was going to lose you, you calmly told me that the doctors had found it early before it got worse when you were in the hospital after your surgery I went with uncle Chris and my grandmother to visit you and we had a conversation and laughed together, as you got sicker I was extremely worried and I prayed hard for you to get better. On February 28th the day of your surgery you had texted me telling me to be good, and that you’ll call me when you wake up, I never thought it would be our final conversation together. On March 9th I was at the movies with the ladies and I didn’t know you had passed until after I got home, I cried all day long. Mom just know that I’m being taken care of by your friends (my extended family) and of course uncle Chris and the rest of the family.


I love you mom, RIP. Your son Brandon James


P.S tell my dad and aunt Kris I said hello💜




I often do talk about my mom everyday, in fact I think about her and it makes me feel happy, but at the same time I’m upset that she’s not here physically, I just wish I could hug her one last time

So after celebrating my birthday with my mom’s friends last month I got their phone numbers, I’m extremely thankful for all of them because they’re there for me whenever I want to talk. Well I’m happy that I have an extended family like: Aunt mariella, auntie Lisa, Aunt Cindy, and others. Today I was texting them to tell them that I was dreading Tuesday because it’s the day that my mom passed and that it’s a reminder of that awful day in that awful year. I then sent them a picture of my mom my aunt Kris who also passed from cancer, see when my mom first told me that Kris was sick I was extremely upset because I was really close to her growing up. On the day of kris’s passing my mom had to tell me what happened. Now my mom is reunited with aunt Kris as well as my dad who passed away in 2007 before I graduated high school that same year

Mom you’ll be missed, we miss you lots. Your friends are taking care of me in your absence, whenever I want to do something with them all I have to do is give Monica and uncle Chris their phone numbers. See Monica has already met Kit, Uncle Djuan, uncle Gary, aunt Sari, aunt Megan, uncle Eric, Olivia, Mariella, Cindy. I did stuff with my extended family which was the Christmas party at mariella’s, going to the movies which we did before this pandemic. We went to brunch, I went out with them to celebrate my birthday last month. I got everything I had wanted like: Star Wars Squadron, WatchDogs: Legion, a shirt that says Maui, a Deadpool plush doll, macadamian nuts chocolate flavored, from my extended family, after leaving Fuzzy’s tacos Cindy took me to GameStop so I could buy myself another game, the game I got they didn’t have it at the store, so I ordered it Cindy helped me. Mom I had the best birthday ever despite the fact it was my first birthday without you, I’m now 32 can you believe that mom?!

I love you and yes on Tuesday I’ll be at uncle Eric’s house, and also I’ll be texting Mariella, Shelly, Cindy, Ann, Tina, auntie Lisa, Tia, and Kim through group texting. They put me in the group text after the birthday party so I can talk to them about anything

Well today I had fun with my second family, I had a few good laughs, I haven’t laughed so hard since I lost my mom last year. I want to thank Mariella, Shelly, aunt Lisa, Cindy, Tina and Tina for making me laugh and smile. See before my mom died my mom’s friends promised her that they would do things with me in her absence. On the day of my mom’s passing I was actually at the movies with mariella, Shelly, Cindy, Blake so I didn’t know that my mom had died until I got home from the movies. I was extremely upset. Last year during Christmas time mariella had invited me to her Christmas party, she hosted a wine and ornament party the same party that my mom hosted before she passed. It was there I had received two ornaments both of them made me cry, See while we were exchanging ornaments this girl who was at the party had chosen this ornament, it was a heart shaped Christmas ornament that had my mom’s birth year and the year she passed, I didn’t actually see what it said because I was talking to my aunt Lisa. The girl who chose the ornament gave it to me so I could read it. When I opened it me and aunt Lisa both cried. Cindy had that ornament made, the other ornament I received at the party was made from Tina, I cried when I opened that one too. After I had opened the gifts I had a heartfelt conversation with auntie Lisa about her final moments with my mom. Well today I had a great day celebrating my birthday with my favorite Westy moms including aunt Lisa. My mom would be extremely thankful that all of you are doing stuff that I used to do with my mom when she was here. My birthday was difficult and different. But tonight was fun, we shared good stories and had great laughs, plus I had brought the letter from my job, so they can read it, I texted mariella yesterday that I would wear my pin that I got from my boss but I had forgotten to put it on. I had gotten great birthday gifts from everyone, I know I had extended my birthday celebration.

Mom i told the girls that I think about you everyday and that I miss your laugh and smile, I will especially miss our funny conversations on Facebook and through FaceTime. Love ya and I will always miss you. Say hi to auntie Kris and my dad for me, I will celebrate your life on Tuesday March 9th, I will actually be at uncle Eric’s house on that day, I’m taking that day off work. Oh yeah did I mention that uncle Chris, aunt Megan and Olivia are moving to California? Well they are at the end of June, and guess what? I’m going to be going to California to visit them. I don’t know when I’ll be going to California yet, uncle Chris told me that he’ll let me know when they’ll get a house and when I’ll be visiting. I haven’t been to California since my uncle and auntie lived out there. I will be able to go to universal studios in Los Angles, I remember when me, my mom, my dad, uncle Chris, and aunt Megan went to universal but we couldn’t ride on all of the rides. But now I will be able to. And yes I will be riding my mom’s favorite water ride which was the Jurassic Park which is now Jurassic World. Well mom that’s my update for tonight mom love and miss you❤️😘

Well March is coming around the corner and I’m already dreading it. It’ll be roughly a year ago since I had lost my mom Nicole James, my mom was my only parent I had left after I lost my dad back in 2007. Not only she was my mom she was my best friend who I could always go to whenever I needed help or if I wanted to talk. After I just turned 31 last year in February my mom told me that she had colon cancer after I had came home from the day program, I was extremely nervous about it because I truly thought I was going to lose her. My mom told me that the doctors had found it early and that it wasn’t at stage 2, before my mom died we did everything together that includes: Watching movies, and watching Disney+ (namely The Mandolorian) among other things. Before my mom had her last surgery she told me that uncle Chris was going to be staying with me while she recovered from her surgery and that he would bring me to see her, on the morning of February 28th I had gotten a text message from my mom telling me that she’s at the hospital about to get the surgery and that she would call me when she wakes up. That was the final text I had received from my mom. When I came home from the day program I texted my uncle Chris to ask him if my mom had woken up from her surgery, he told me that she hasn’t yet. After talking to my uncle Chris, uncle Eric had called me telling me that he was going to pick me up from the house to take me to his house to stay the night until we heard anything about my mom. While at uncle Eric’s house I had a phone call from uncle Chris telling me that my mom’s surgery was a success and that she had woken up and that she was smiling and laughing, he also told me that my mom had wanted to see me. I was extremely excited to see my mom again, uncle Chris was going to pick me up from uncle Eric’s house the next day on Saturday February 29th. But then something bad happened, uncle Eric came into my grandmother’s room and he told her that my mom’s heart had stopped, I was actually sleeping at the time only to wake up and I immediately started crying, uncle Eric tried to calm me down but to no success. I went into the living room area and I sat down on the couch, uncle Eric tried to get me to go with him and aunt Sari to the hospital to see uncle Chris, but I couldn’t move I was extremely upset and scared. After my aunt and uncle left I called my former therapist Ashley to tell her about what was going on with my mom, she told me to give her an update on her progress. I stayed home from both work and the day program until I found out about my mom’s situation. In March I went out with my uncle’s Gary and Djuan they were actually distracting me from what’s been happening with my mom. On March 9th I went to the movies with Mariella, Shelly, Mariella’s son Blake, and Cindy. We went to see a movie that my uncle worked on, after the movie mariella dropped me off at the house. I was going to go into my room to play video games only for uncle Chris to tell me to sit down on the couch because he had to tell me something. He told me that my mom didn’t wake up from the coma she was in, before he could say more I immediately got up from the couch and I walked off I was crying hysterically, uncle Eric walked after me and he hugged me tightly. See I was extremely close to my mom growing up, after losing my dad my mom became my only parent, I truly looked up to her. After I walked back into the living room I sat with my grandmother and I had asked my uncle to continue his story about my mom. After he was done telling me about my mom’s passing I said nothing, only to finally say two or three words. One of them being that my mom is with my dad again. After going back to my uncle’s house I called Ashley to tell her that my mom had just passed she asked me if I was doing ok, I told her that I wasn’t doing good and that I was upset. After some time off from the day program I went back to the program to talk to the director Josh and I told him that my mom had just passed, uncle Chris went with me, I actually lived with uncle Eric for a while. I wasn’t able to sleep because I was so extremely upset about my mom’s passing I stayed up all night thinking that she would come pick me up from uncle Eric’s house like she always did.

My mom was the best parent I ever had, I think about her pretty much everyday and I often talk about her. I was ready to lose her she was young, I was young to lose a mom. After my mom’s passing I had texted my best friends Rakel, Emily and Stacia (two of the latter has met my mom) they were extremely sad to hear that my mom had passed. Today I had texted both uncle Chris and my mom’s friend Kim telling them that I think about my mom and both of them told me that I should think about her.

I want to thank my mom for taking care of me throughout my senior year of high school and pretty much my adult years, you’ve impacted me greatly. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. I’m thankful that you’re my mom. Continue to Rest In Peace, next I want to thank my family who is currently taking care of me in my mom’s absence, my uncle Chris, aunt Megan, uncle Eric, Aunt Sari, my grandmother Cynthia, my mom’s friends who’s still in my life aunt mariella, aunt Lisa, Shelly, Cindy, Tina, Kim, and Ann. I’m actually going to spend time with them on Sunday to celebrate my 32nd birthday since we couldn’t celebrate it last weekend due to the commercial I was doing. They actually promised my mom that they would do stuff with me. I also like to thank my uncles Gary and Djuan for hanging out with me, I don’t ever see them often like I used to.

On March 9th I’m going to be spending it with uncle Eric, aunt sari, my grandmothers, Trae and Aaliyah. I actually requested that day off work. Mom just know that you’ve missed a lot of stuff like: me turning 32, Aaliyah is now 4 she’s going to be 5 this year, Olivia is 14 and she’s still bossy but of course I love her, oh yeah mom I have a reward for being at my job for a year now. I first started working before your 50th birthday and I had continued working after your passing. I’m now living in a new house which took me a long time to really get used to. I’m not far from where we used to live. Alright mom I’m going to sleep, I love and miss you, tell my dad I said hello also tell auntie Kris I said hi💜💜💜

So this weekend I’m going to be hanging out with my mom’s friends Mariella, Shelly, auntie Lisa, Tina, Cindy, Kim, and mariella’s friend Amber. We’re going to celebrate my birthday and my success with being at my job for a year, see I only saw Mariella and the ladies last year, Mariella took me to the movies on the day my mom died March 9th we saw my uncles Chris’s Pixar movie Onward. Then I saw Mariella again before Christmas, she did the same thing my mom used to do which was hosting the wine and ornament party. I was actually going to hangout with Mariella again to go to the zoo to see the Christmas lights. Ms Monica has already met Mariella once. I could only hangout with friends/family is when Ms Monica talks with uncle Chris and Megan and the people who I want to hangout with. She’s actually going to be meeting Lisa when Cindy picks me up on Sunday. Well mom that’s my update for today, oh yeah it snowed yesterday😫 ok mom I’m at work actually I’m in the break room waiting for my shift to start. I have a job coach who you haven’t met yet her name is Janna, I know you’ve met Bill who’s also my job coach. Say hi to my dad❤️😘

So today the best thing happened at work. Before I begin I just want to thank my mom for helping me find this awesome job I really love working there. So today I was cleaning the warehouse with my job coach Janna, when my boss paged me to come to his office, I thought that he had a job for me to do, only to see that he was holding an envelope. Janna was with me while I was opening it. Inside the envelope was this letter congratulating me on the hard work I’ve been doing, it’s a one year anniversary letter. Here’s the thing: So last year on January 7th before my mom died she helped me find Advanced Auto Parts and I started working there before her 50th birthday, I’ve been working at advanced for a whole year. I actually took a picture of it. I wasn’t crying or anything though. Also inside the envelope was this pin with the CarQuest logo that’s the company I’m actually with. I sent the pictures to these following people: Aunt Megan, uncle Chris, aunt Lisa, Tina, Aunt mariella, my friends Stacia, Rakel, Kelsey, mark. I will show Ms Monica and mr. Morris later on today. This weekend not only I’m going to be celebrating my birthday with my mom’s friends I’m also going to be celebrating my first year anniversary for working at Advanced. Mom I’m sure you’re doing these following things: crying, jumping for joy, crying, clapping and crying again.

So yesterday on my way home from the movies, uncle Chris told me some good news that I’m super excited about, he’s going to be moving back to California and I will get to visit him, aunt Megan and Olivia, I’ve never been in California in years. The last time I was in California was with my mom and dad. Ms Monica knows about it too, today I told Mr. Morris and he’s happy for my uncle, he’s going to be making movies and hopefully I’ll get to be in his films fingers crossed Lol, mom we wish you were here to see your brother make movies, I’m going to have so much fun. That’s my update for today mom. Did I mention that I’ll be able to go to Universal Studios Hollywood do you Remember when we went to universal studios but we couldn’t ride on everything? Well this time I’ll be able to

So I had a fun birthday this year, I did a lot of fun stuff like, on Wednesday I stayed with uncle Eric, aunt Sari, my grandmothers, Trae and Aaliyah and I went out for pizza and played games, then on Saturday I had the commercial shoot which was really awesome, then today I went to the movies with uncle Chris, auntie Megan, Olivia, uncle Eric, auntie Sari, Trae, Aaliyah, Justin, Stephanie, Elliot, and his girlfriend, even my roommate Michael came with me to the movies. Then uncle Chris told me the coolest thing that’s happening which I’m super excited about (it was actually supposed to be a surprise) then when I came home from the movies I had another birthday celebration at the house with my roommate and Monica and another friend. This upcoming weekend I’ll be celebrating my birthday again with Mariella and the ladies, (I know my mom’s saying why I’m celebrating my birthday 4 times?) Well actually I’m celebrating it 7 times Lol.

Related to this, tomorrow I’m going back to the day program which I’m super excited about, I haven’t been at the day program since last year before and after my mom passed, only for it to close due to the pandemic. It reopened again only to yet again close. Well mom that’s the update for today. Love you and I miss you lots, say hello to my dad

Ok so today was a good day to kick off my birthday weekend, first I had a commercial shoot that a family friend Cindy took me to for this company called Johnson moving which is a moving company based in centennial, I didn’t have to talk or anything. I always told my mom that I wanted to be on TV, anyway while I was doing the commercial the director said that it’ll air on the following channels in March on the 15th 2, 4, 7, and 9 in the morning. I texted my friends, family and others. I know that my mom and dad are watching me from heaven and is extremely happy to know that I’m doing good and that I’m safe. Be sure to look for me on TV in March tell everyone if you have to, I’m pretty sure I’m going to be famous😂😂😂😂