To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did. When God takes something from your grasp, he's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.
A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to it's old dimensions.-
Oliver Wendell Holmes
It started with Nate complaining of knee pain. He had broken his right ankle playing basebktball and the doc thought it was overcompensating from having a cast. After following docs orders on ice, Aleve, and P/T exercises we went to a knee doctor. Nate was diagnosed with bone cancer on April 25, 2006. He went through four rounds of IV and IA chemotherapy . He has had surgery on July 19,2006. He has finished four different rounds of IV chemo since then and is going through physical therapy. He is a fighter! He has been working hard on getting his strength back.
Nate has done great. He played ball this past spring(07)- and went to Costa Rica in the summer. The scans for Sept were not so great. They found cancer nodules on his lungs.He has been on the immunity booster treatment since then and will have yet another surgery Nov 28th to remove a cancerous nodule from his lung. He is attitude is great and we will just move forward to get this all done. They did add a chemo agent to his treatment. It is still experimental. We now have started the new year with a clot from his port. The port is out and he will do shots to help thin the blood and dissolve the clot. As of Feb 08 he decided to bypass any more experimental treatments. The nodules have stil been growing despite feeling like he has the flu every weekend. So he just wants to have fun for his senior year, play ball and graduate. Then he will look at surgery or other options.
Nate had the surgery on June 6th. He did not recover well. they did take out all the cancer and the last scans showed know cancer nodules in his lungs. But- he has not been fully himself. They cannot determine if it is permanent. It is mostly memory issues but the neurological testing showed slowness in processing as well. This May, they found the cancer had returned.
Today is just one of those dates that is embedded within. It is not that it is used against you, it is that you embrace it with love and the memories- all of them from a life- that it beholds.
I think this day used to be hard as it marks the day Nate left, yet I do not dread it as I once had. Today is 6 years since he took his last breath, but it is 6 years that I still feel he watches over all of us. Some days I could still consider him to be his onery self.. and hear the echo of how I make much to much of this.. change your "o" to an "e".. or simply ..'do what makes you happy'
He was a character- and he is missed as well as remembered. His presence is still felt in times of need. I love the friends that share their stories... a picture shows up,..a song on the radio.. a memory of baseball or a random #17... and even a swirling of cotton in the wind.. He is in his own Field of Dreams being an angel.. playing more games than just baseball.
Today is not a sad day. It is a day to smile- to remember- and to be happy to be a part of his story.
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