In some ways a year ago seems so long ago, and other times it's just yesterday. It seems like forever since we've heard her voice, but the emotions are so raw sometimes that it can't possibly have been a year. 

A year with lots of things happening (mostly good!) to us, yet not having our mom around to enjoy them. A year of Alayna and Brady blossoming, and knowing part of it is because Mom was so wonderful to them, and to us, so we passed it along to them, but her not being there to revel in it! 

We now know we can survive this heartache, but that doesn't make it easy, and we still can't quite grasp that she isn't here in bodily form.  I sometimes scold myself and say "Just about everyone loses their mom eventually... why are you taking this so hard? You big baby!" and then remember that we each have our own journey, and it's okay to have mine. We are remembering that the reason it's so hard to lose someone sometimes is that they were so great, and we wouldn't want it the other way around. We sure loved her and we sure miss her and we are sure glad that we had her and sure glad we have other people surrounding us that remind us of her and let us feel what we need to feel.  Somehow we can feel that sadness and loneliness and gratefulness all at the same time.

We think we're looking forward to it no longer being "the first year that mom wasn't at XYZ....".  And we *think* we are starting to remember things with joy instead of sadness (but that depends on the day).

We thank you all for the support and love, that's why we can survive!

Love,

Jen and Steph

ps. posted a few pics to show that we indeed are surviving and enjoying life!