TW: Cancer - Health Update

In May 2023, I had posted about a bone scan, which was to follow up on the status of my cracked ribs following chemotherapy last summer.

It was a huge relief that there was no sign of cancer in the bones (healing observed was consistent with a rib fracture).

However, they did notice, "multiple lung nodules, highly suspicious for lung metastases. Additionally, soft tissue lesion left anterior third intercostal space, also worrisome."

Holy. Shit.

In the month that followed, I underwent rigorous testing where my medical team determined I have Stage 4 Triple-Negative Breast Cancer that has metastasized into both of my lungs ("innumerable lesions").

Prognosis is not great, particularly for "young adults" (under 40) as the cancer tends to be more aggressive. Moreover, my hormone status changing to "triple-negative" also means that there are less treatment options available to me (my cancer won't respond to hormone related treatment options).

However, I am determined to fight - in mind and body - and am leaning into "hope" over fear, as much as possible. With my oncologists support, it is our sincerest hope that I'll have "years" ahead of me.

In early June, with the incredible & overwhelming support from my manager Holly Milena, people & culture team, and all of my amazing colleagues at LivingWorks, I made the difficult decision to return to Long-Term Disability status while I restart treatment and navigate what's ahead of me.

So far, I've received 2 rounds of systemic treatment (immunotherapy & chemotherapy) which have not gone smoothly with various complications (all manageable thus far).

Today, I'm starting my 3rd cycle - with chemo meds only... and at a lower intensity than first round.

We currently believe my immunotherapy drug (pembro) made it so that my immune system attacked my liver (making it very, very unhappy), one of my chemo drugs made my platelets crash, and the other chemo drug greatly exacerbated carpal tunnel issues making daily life painful and sleep difficult. Thus, continued adjustments have been made to balance quality of life with effective treatment for as much time as possible.

Over the last few months I've learned that adaptability, flexibility, and patience are critically important elements which I will continue to work on... Planning is extremely difficult as things can quickly change on a dime, or so it feels some days.

And TIME is invaluable.

Right now I feel fairly good - I have an amazing support system and am focused on my health, my family, making the most of today (esp the "good days") and trying to sort through the complexities that come with such a devastating diagnosis.

As an empath and highly sensitive person (HSP), I have an exceptionally difficult time navigating others' emotional responses to this news as I struggle to come to terms with it myself. It's partly why I think it's taken me so long to share this information publicly. It's also very overwhelming, exhausting, and constantly evolving, so keeping people updated has been more challenging than I had personally anticipated. Not to mention - denial, anyone?

It is my hope to share high level updates on facebook periodically with my network. After 4 cycles, for example, I'll have another CT of my lungs to see how the treatment is going (aka are we kicking some butt or do we need to change things up).

Thank you for any prayers, best wishes, gifts, cards, and loving vibrations you have sent to me over the last couple years since my initial diagnosis in Oct/Nov 2021 & ongoing.

I truly thought I'd be "getting back to normal" (or a "post-cancer new normal") & would eventually have the energy to reconnect with my network more after transitioning back to work, but alas! My body had another plan in mind and I continue to focus on one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time.

I'm transitioning to a place of acceptance that I won't ever be going back to the life I knew before cancer, or the brief version of me that existed in between remission and metastatic diagnosis. The future plans me and my husband made together now must be adjusted (hello grief), and the rediscovering of who I am & what I'll do now - will be an ongoing learning process.

It's been a hell of a ride! I look forward to making the most of what time lies ahead.

Remember to take care of your health, y'all! Much Love Always! &

-Shauna