Hi everyone - I am sitting in the infusion chair for my second to last herceptin/perjeta infusion! It's all very exciting. I am looking forward to moving on and putting this nightmare behind me. This is the last time I will use my port, because it is coming out in my surgery next week. I almost hate to say it as if I am jinxing myself... I never want to need a port again because if I do, it'll likely be there until I die. It's so gloomy to even think about but sadly that's the truth in this cancer world. 

Jake and I met with my surgical oncologist and plastic surgeon last week. We are gearing up for my prophylactic (preventative) mastectomy on my unaffected side. Being young (32) at diagnosis puts me at risk for another breast cancer and as much fun as cancer during a pandemic has been, I think I'll spare myself a second go-around. This reduces my chance dramatically.  

I have had so many ask how I am feeling leading up to this, and honestly I am quite excited. It is one step closer to feeling more normal in many ways. I am getting closer to a finalized reconstruction, and hopefully I won't feel so lopsided as I have had this tissue expander in the affected breast for over a year and a half now. If I haven't explained it before here it is: a tissue expander is like a hard, firm plastic implant that can be expanded to a certain volume/size. It is a temporary implant that is used until it is safe to place the squishy, soft implants that are used in breast augmentations. While I'm not getting the expander out on my affected side, the new implant that will be placed on the other side will make at least look more like how the expander looks so I will be somewhat more symmetric. 

As far as the surgery goes, I've been through it before but pregnant... so I'm assuming this will be easier. After all, I will be able to take more pain relievers so that could get interesting. It will be harder in the sense that we have THREE wild children to look after but thank goodness for those little blessings as they keep us distracted and going forward everyday. I am also getting fat grafting to my radiated breast. The goal is to place more of my tissue (fat) in the pocket of radiated skin to help heal the damage from radiation. The skin is really scarred and contracting. Actually, my chances of an implant working on that side are anywhere from 60-80%. If it fails, then I will need to go to plans B and C for reconstruction which would include a flap of some sort.  Basically, it's a bigger surgery stealing tissue from my back, abdomen, legs, etc. to recreate a breast. I'm not really into that right now. 

Fat grafting consists of liposuction from probably my flanks, abdomen, thighs, etc. and placing that fat in my breast. Sorry to say but NO... you can't be a fat donor. Just doesn't work that way! As far as recovery goes, the donor sites can be painful, like getting punched a hundred times I've been told so that is not something I am looking forward to. I also need to wear compression garments and between the hot flashes and summer heat, that could be uncomfortable.

I have one week from today to get ready. It is scheduled for Tuesday, June 29th...which is also Jake and my 9-year wedding anniversary. HOW ROMANTIC I know. I work this week and then fly out of town Friday-Sunday for a memorial service in Boston. I have Monday to get ready and have been frantically running around trying to organize, stock up on essentials, laundry done, etc... Nesting mode in full force.  I am so thankful for my parents and Jake's parents to help with child care as I will have a lifting restriction for 6 weeks. 

In other news, Emma is graduating her Pre-K class this week! She starts kindergarten in the fall, and she's going to love it. She is a curious soul and a natural learner. She finished her first soccer season, and we learned that she has a little competitive edge to her (not sure where she gets that). Every week before her game, she says how much she wants her team to win. She is a great defender and has scored several goals, but her primary focus is team-oriented in having fun and winning. She has been continuing her swim lessons and we started gymnastics as well.

Addie loves following in her big sister's footsteps. She is also doing swim lessons and taking gymnastics. She loves her gymnastics and has doing a great job bouncing on trampolines, swinging from the bars, and jumping in the foam pit. We recently took a trip to Tybee Island, GA, and had a blast. Addie enjoyed jumping in the puddles (tidal pools) it was hard to peel her out of them at the end of the day. She has a good life.

Nolan will be 11 months tomorrow! Our little chemo baby is almost one year old. He has been doing wonderfully.  Growing and developing accordingly. The boy loves to eat! His favorite food right now is any fruit. He can stand and crawl and is probably going to be walking in the next month. He is babbling and loves to watch his sisters. Right now he is battling a fever and is home from daycare. Of course I'm getting all the cuddles in with him, because I know it will be awhile before I can cuddle that boy after my surgery. 

Father's Day was wonderful. We had a morning brunch, went out to the lake, then had a family barbecue. It was wonderful to see everyone and feel more and more normal day by day. 

Thanks again for all the love and well wishes!