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Journal

June
24
2020

June 24, 2020

Dearest Miki.

Yesterday I placed your hearing aids with someone I "met" on my Nextdoor Neighborhood blog when I asked for recommendations of organizations that accept used hearing aids and place them with needy people who cannot afford new ones. Apparently, they refurbish them, clean them and adjust, program and fit them to the appropriate new recipient.

Handing them over was really hard Miki.  They are so iconically you.  How many times was I with you when you would pop one out, dig a little battery out of your pocket, replace the spent one and pop the device back in your ear. I can see that event in my mind as clear as day. I wanted to keep them forever, to look at them, and to remember.  But I know that YOU would want them to help someone who can't afford to get tested and buy new expensive hearing devices.  SO. I put my big girl pants on and did the right thing. In your name. Because it's what you'd want me to do.  You made me a better person. But I have so many regrets. I needed you to hang around for another 20 years (G-DWILLIN') to fix me completely.  I am so flawed and had so much to still learn from you.  How I wish I'd been different. Kinder. More selfless. More giving.  But I wasn't and now you're gone and I can only learn from you via memories of how YOU lived and behaved. 

I wonder if you can "hear" me when I talk to you. I sure hope you can.  I would give anything to hear you again.  I copied all your voice messages on my phone into my itunes library.  I play them once in awhile just to hear your voice but it's quite painful..mixed bag. 

Donated to: Marion Downs Center in Denver https://www.mariondowns.com/

Like you, Marion was a professor too, but at a Medical University in Colorado. From her website: "Dr. Marion P. Downs was a Distinguished Professor Emerita at the University of Colorado School of Medicine where she spent more than 35 years providing clinical services to benefit patients with hearing loss, devoting her professional life to the promotion of early identification of hearing loss in newborns, infants, and young children. During her outstanding career at the University of Colorado Health Sciences Center, Marion Downs created, developed and evaluated techniques for testing hearing in children and for fitting them, some as young as a few weeks of age, with hearing aids." 

I think you would approve Miki.  I miss you my friend. 

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