My surgery went well, no complications. I've been working to rest and heal, which has been a challenge. It's really hard for me as mom, having to sit on the couch and not on the floor playing and interacting with the girls. So I try to be good, but then I overdo things and ouch, I'm sore again.*sigh* I'll be honest, it all still feels surreal that this is happening.

The biopsy results came back with clear margins and no cancer in the lymph nodes on the right side. However, the pathology found that I also had a 0.8cm cancer + over 2cm of precancerous cells on the left side. It's too late to biopsy the nodes on that side, but my Dr thinks that since it was smaller than the tumor on the right side, and that one hadn't gone into the nodes, it probably is the same for the left. 

The good news is that there was evidence that the Tamoxifen had been destroying the cancer cells, so it's nice to know that this form of hormone therapy is worth the crappy side effects. I'm also thankful that we went with a double mastectomy, but it's scary that they didn't see the other cancer in my scans. I was in shock for a few days after my Dr told me; had to deal with all the emotions of "you have cancer" news all over again. 

On Tuesday 1/7 I got 300cc of saline injected into each of my temporary implants, called expanders. They were filled with air previously, so the added weight is pulling on things inside and making me sore. But it looks better already and I'm optimistic about the final results. The process involves me going into the plastic surgeon's office every week, where they will continue to inject saline 60cc at a time, until the expanders fill up to a size that looks right. Then the Drs will know what size to use for my "permanent" implants. That procedure is called an exchange surgery and will be at least 4 months out from my mastectomy because it takes that long for everything to heal inside.

I'm STILL waiting to receive the results of the Oncotype test, which will help to determine my next course of treatment. It may say that I need chemo or maybe I will be ok just continuing on the Tamoxifen for 5 years. It sucks not knowing, but I'm trying not to have too much anxiety about it. I'll post an update once I finally get the results at my next appointment with the surgical oncologist (tomorrow).

I'm appreciative of this time I have to spend with Aerin and Naiya. I love watching them play together. Naiya is growing so big, she's cruising in the walker chasing Aerin around. She's crawling really well now, so we have to keep her contained in a play pen. Aerin is doing 50 piece puzzles by herself, knows the alphabet and numbers almost to 20. (She likes to throw eleventeen in there somewhere between sixteen and nineteen, lol.)

I am so grateful for my supportive family, especially to Diana and Robin for letting us stay here while I recover, for watching the girls and making us meals. I don't know what we would have done if they weren't here to help take care of us. Thank you to my Hampton co-workers for arranging to bring us a meal or two every week. We're very grateful for your thoughtfulness. I also appreciate everyone who has messaged to check in on me. It's nice to know that people care. 

I feel very fortunate that my cancer was caught early and that I have a fighting chance to beat it and live a long life. It breaks my heart to read the stories and experiences from others in cancer support groups that I've joined who are not so lucky. And it's not just cancer. There are a myriad of hardships burdening so many people in the world. My new year's resolution, if you want to call it that, is to be more compassionate and generous to others who are struggling. We're all just trying to get through another day the best that we can. I truly believe that a little kindness can go a long way.