August 7, 2020, close to midnight ~

Y'know ...

I purchased earlier this year a book entitled " Woulda Coulda Should ".
Haven't read it yet.
What'sat tell ya?

I believe I hear Sinatra in the background...or perhaps it is merely the whining of my inner violins.                        There it is... Didja hear that?
"Regrets. I've had a few..."
Uh...yeah.

Good grief. I was a goofy looking kid.
Lol.

Anyhoooo
Now that the intros are done ...

That goofy lookin' kid was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease in June of 2016.

Backatcha soon.
MaDukes out.

🍀

August 12, 2020, 2317 hours

I think I was basically a fairly healthy kid. Never athletic. Did not spend a lot of time outside in the sun. Not particularly interesting in any way shape or form. Okay kind of a nebbish ... a dweeb ... a ditz! There it is! 

My role seemed to evolve into family caregiver as I was older, mid-forties. Until that time yeah I was kind of winging it. Life wasn't bad. Great parents, awesome kids and all their friends. We had the neighborhood headquarters. Those were great, great days. Still in contact with some of those kids, mostly most of them.

Mom passed in 2009 unfortunately;  she was wonderful. She was up here every summer and everybody loved her. Even the cats came out to meet her when she drove into the driveway. Dad is still around; he's 91! I am writing his story. We talk a couple of times a week about the past and he launches into hilarious stories and I am recording them.  And we share photographs. We both have SO many boxes of photographs.

Well anyway about and around 2014, right around my 61st birthday, I started having neck pains. My primary care sent me for physical therapy for neck pain. After many doctors and many physical therapists to no avail, Dad said "Go to a teaching Hospital because they by definition have state-of-the-art."  He was right! Within 4 months of going to Beth Israel Deaconess in Boston, I had a diagnosis. June 2016 the doctor said "You have Parkinson's".

Decided to come to Florida and live with my toes in the sand. That, however, is another story altogether. Another story for another night. Sleep well. Stay safe in these covid-19 days.

I look forward to seeing you again. 

🍀

August 18, 2020 2349 hours ~

Trying to keep positive.  Some days are better than others. 

Amazing what a difference is made by reflecting daily on how LUCKY I am.

Reading all the Facebook Parkinson's groups entries. I truly am fortunate in so many ways.

Neurologicals are somewhat unpredictable.

Many aspects are different from one person to the next. 

Hopefully I'll find all those earlier pages of notes I so carefully recorded. I just need to find those papers.  😂

Oh Lord....

'Nighty nite.

🍀

September 11, 2020 @ 0342 hours ~

Well ... I knew this wasn't going to be easy. Or fun...  Just didn't expect things to move this fast.  

Six months ago I was fine ... seemingly. Riding my bike in the light of dawn, cameras at the ready. Going to Rock Steady and biking and walking. Now I can't really walk. At least not without pain. Not upright. Not more than three steps !

Sciatica, not just Parkinson's. Two Transforaminal Lumbar Epidurals later ... What are those? Oh nothing much. You just lie down on a table and the doctor sticks needles into your back. No big deal.

What? 

Right? That's what I said when my doctor described it. 

Surely you can't be serious!!

Turns out the procedure was practically painless. Not sure how much of that was the nature of the beast ( no not me ... The procedure ) and how much was the finesse of the doctor. ~ Anywhoooo... The first one 8/6 stood the tests of time. For a week. Or two. By 9/1 I was again in agony, good doctor squeezed me in for a second procedure, this on 9/2; absolutely no effect.

So ...  I've said right along that "I'll not be goin' down w'thout a fight, now, mind ya!"

Well...

That fight is here.

Bring it on ~

Oh ... and happy 67th.

🍀

Sunday, November 8, 2020. @ 0016 

Sciatica is still being a pain (literally).  No question the lack of exercise is having an impact. Need to reach past this ...

🍀

Monday, November 9, 2020, 1400 hrs

Knowing the seeds of your own demise are already onboard gives life ... well, a unique perspective.

What you do with that knowledge will be what makes the difference.

🌹

November 13, 2020 ~2300 hrs

I do perceive of late an increased forgetfulness and a lack of ability to maintain mental focus. 
I had entirely expected my body to go first. If my mind is going first, I need to rethink my timing and priorities.

🌹

November 20, 2020 ~ 2146 hrs

Outstanding! ... Well, actually, more like outrageous... The process of keeping vigilant, perceptive, critical and ~ perhaps the most challenging ~ honest with myself, as I move forward, watching for the slightest hint of change, of loss, of degradation.

Never boring, Parkinson's. Never boring.

I'll keep 'running for my life', my totally ridiculous expression for exercising to keep the PD at bay. Yes, I'll keep running. Until I can't run another step.

I have, however, no intention to end my days drooling, peeing and otherwise soiling myself, knowing neither who I am nor who my visitors are, not knowing my family. That is not in the cards. Oh hell no!

🌹

Saturday, December 5, 2020 ~ 1847 hrs