Michele’s Story

Site created on April 18, 2018

Welcome to my CaringBridge website.  I was diagnosed with stage 2A invasive mammary carcinoma on February 20, 2018.  (ER+ PR+HER2+, 2/8 positive lymph nodes, lumpectomy RT side and sentinel node biopsy). I’m using CaringBridge to keep family and friends updated in one place,. I’m hoping to make someone’s storm a little easier.  And, it’s therapeutic for me during this time.  I appreciate your prayers, support and words of hope and encouragement. Thank you for visiting. 


Much love 💗🎀

Newest Update

Journal entry by Michele Clark

For several weeks, I’ve thought about updating on here, and then wondered what I’d write about. Or, how I’d word things. This shouldn’t be this difficult, but it is.

My “cancer journey” was supposed to be over with my last infusion in May. I was supposed to return to my normal life. I tried. I failed. I quickly realized that I no longer knew what my “normal life” looked like.

The days of me being the energizer bunny were long gone. I’ve tried putting on my straight face for several months now. In a weird sort of way, I guess I didn’t want to disappoint, or burden, people with the long drawn out story of my cancer journey continuing.

People celebrated with me with I finished chemo. They were there when radiation was done. We cried when I received my last maintenance infusion. Family and friends continued living their lives. I continued living my life.

So, why am I updating today?

Cancer is so ugly. It’s not something that is treated and goes away. It leaves it’s mark on everyone it touches. It affects one’s body, mind, soul and faith in ways that are indescribable. I’ve always felt that God had me on this journey for reasons that I would never know. I was positive that this was only a small portion of my story in this world. I knew that I’d be ok in the end (and I still believe this!), but I’m getting tired and I’m ready for some answers. Not just answers from God, but also from my doctors. 

Back in August of last year, I started taking my oral chemo pill (Tamoxifen). I was told I’d need to be on this for 5-10 years. I knew the side effects of this drug, but I also knew how important this drug would be in reducing the chances of my cancer returning. I did ok taking it for the first 9 months. It wasn’t until I returned home from my Alaska trip in April that I started feeling “not quite right”. I made several calls to my oncologist, and he dismissed what I was saying. He said that my symptoms had nothing to do with any treatment I had received from him. He said that nothing I was experiencing was related to Tamoxifen, or chemo. He suggested that I see my primary care doctor (PCM). So, I made an appointment with my doctor on Ft. Campbell. During my visit with her the following week, she couldn’t believe that there had been no further scans or testing done after my last chemo infusion. She also didn’t feel that the symptoms I was describing were “normal”. She suggested sending me for a second opinion. 

Which leads me to today’s update.

I was referred to a Dr. Abramson at Vanderbilt Breast Center in Nashville. They called to schedule my appointment right before Greg and I went on our “Great Summer Vacation 2019”. Our vacation included a week in Costa Rica with an amazing non-profit breast cancer survivor organization called “Little Pink Houses of Hope” (look them up if you’ve never heard about them!). We then met up with our great friends, Kim and Chris, at the beach in Alabama. We ended our trip in Texas visiting friends and family before returning home this past Sunday. We had an awesome time creating many memories, doing things we had never done before, and just relaxing after a long year. But, behind the smiles, fun, and all of the pictures, was a lot of pain and lots of meds! 

Anyway, back to the story of my new oncologist.

We had a layover in the airport in North Carolina on our way home from Costa Rica. While sitting there, I struck up a conversation with a lady sitting next to me in the airport. We quickly realized that we were both breast cancer survivors. We started talking about our doctors and that’s when I found out that her oncologist, of over 13 years, was the same doctor that I was about to start seeing! And, once I finally got home, I found out that another good friend of mine also is a patient of this doctor. God is always present, even in the little things!
 
Which brings us to today. 

I had my first appointment with this new doctor today in Nashville. She’s already so great! She listened to me. She didn’t dismiss my feelings and make me feel like I was crazy. She has a plan. She wants me to feel better and will do what needs to be done to make sure that happens. I have an appointment next Tuesday with a surgical oncologist to see what needs to be done regarding my care going forward.  I’m having a whole body bone scan done next Thursday to make sure the cancer hasn’t spread to other areas of my body. I’m discontinuing all of the 15 daily meds that I was on (including the tamoxifen for 6 weeks)! I’ve got an appointment for labs to be drawn in August. And, I’m waiting for a call from the surgeon to remove my port, which is now causing more problems than it’s worth!

All I’ve wanted was to get some answers, and I finally feel like I’m on the path to do just that.

“Why am I in so much pain?”
“Why don’t I feel better yet?”
“Why am I getting sick a few times each day?” 
“Why am I so fatigued?” 
“Why has my port stopped working?”
“Why is it still in?”

I decided to go ahead and update on here for a few different reasons...
1. I know I’m not the only person going through this. I know there are others who may be feeling the same things and wondering if it’s all in their head, or if it’s “normal”. 
2. I haven’t been as open, or honest, with those that have stuck by me and supported me through the past year. I’m truly sorry. I get tired of talking about this stuff, so I automatically assume that others are also tired of hearing about it.
3. I still need your prayers. Prayers that the bone scan doesn’t show any signs that the cancer has metastasized to my bones or other parts of my body. Prayers that I feel better while off of my Tamoxifen. And prayers that we figure out what’s causing all of my pain and fatigue.

As always,
Much Love

#cureistheword
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