Thanks so much for sharing, Jenny. I am so glad you’ve found some resources for grieving, the internet can be so great for finding community. I am thinking of you and family this holiday season and wishing Michael could be there with you.

Sending love and gratitude for this post and for you.

Jenny, thanks for staying in touch with the large family that has come to love you all in such intimate ways. You are caring for us so well.

What a thrill to hear his voice and listen to his thoughts. I miss his updates and the way he looked at life. Saying prayers for your family that 2021 will bring you many blessings.

I’m so happy to hear from you! I’m so happy to read these words! They’re hard to read and I worry about you but I see you processing and functioning and being and that is good. Looking forward to listening to the podcast. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you Jenny for being so in tune with your emotions and sharing them with us. Life is lived in the present, in moments, and your experience is truly one of an authentic life.

Jenny, thank you for your heartfelt message, so that we can have a sense of what you're going through. And, for the podcast link and poem. I'm happy that you are getting support from others that have gone through similar experiences. I think of you, Isaiah and Grace often.

I was riveted by this podcast, Michael's words are profound. He continues to inspire me even though we never met. Thank you for posting this, and for your honest reflection here. This is a difficult journey, lots of different feelings indeed. All the best to you as 2021 rolls in. I believe you are right when you said in the podcast that it is going to be OK even if it is not always OK.

Jenny, this is one of the loveliest, poignant, beautiful, broken, full-hearted writings. We've had two men friends pass this fall, both way too young, like Michael. Both, like Michael, well-loved by their family, friends and colleagues. The grief is unimaginable and palpable. I will pass on this poem. I wish for you whatever you wish for you.

It was wonderful to hear Michael's voice after so many years. His interpretation of healing is inspirational.

As I listened to him talk, I was reminded of a day in college when he and I were meeting with our friend Robin. We were at her house and Michael showed up with dried blood along his forehead, ready to talk about the environment or some other important thing. Robin stopped him to ask if he was OK and to ask what happened.

He told a long story about riding his bike to Walmart and locking it up on the best-positioned sign, followed by rising his long, lanky frame up and into the low-hanging metal sign. But what has stuck with me for so many years was his four words describing his feeling before the injury. He said "so jubilant was I ..." and then ~thwack~ against the sign.

I think about that line all the time as my signpost for optimism. So Jubilant Was I, as if it's a flag in the moon. What a fantastic line that few of us would think of. He was happy about the ride, and even after the injury he was feeling pretty good. The sign wasn't going to get in his way. Let's be jubilant.