Sending love, as always, and gratitude for the way you share yourself and the many, varied parts of your truth. There’s room in this world for all of it. We love you and cherish the ever-expanding space that you alone were born to fill.
Michael, thank you for your honesty and for your self-reflection and for laughing at yourself. You continue to inspire me.
Sending much love and many prayers,
Margaret
Know that you have nothing to feel shameful about. You’re unique, lovable, and valued whether the words come out right or not. Your journal posts are incredibly articulate and a window into your humanity. Be well.
When my hair started coming out in clumps, I just wanted it all out, but it didn’t come out that easily, and I had to start cutting it to get it short. I viewed my baldness as a kind of badge of honor, since I had to suffer through chemotherapy, and two friends with breast cancer did not. Still, I figured since I was a physician, maybe I was meant to go through some of the things my patients had gone through, like I developed 2nd degree burns from the radiation. At any rate, just glad to be alive and well 10 years later. But I have had 2 friends develop metastases years later, so I know things could change at any time! Only God knows which way things are going and why. . .
Oh, Michael. As one who also identifies hugely with my verbal and writing abilities, I feel the struggle--not just with shame, but with identity. Who are we as we change? Who are we when the things we've identified as core to who we are begin to shift or slip away? The shame and the fear rear up and we scramble to find new footing in the world. I am grateful to you for sharing that process, which is one many of us have experienced but may feel too full of shame to admit! Thank you for your laughs and your bald spots. Thank you for being on this human journey with so many of us. You help me be a better pastor and you help me hold myself lightly. With love, kathleen