Michael – My heart is with you. I can’t even fathom the chemical cocktail of emotions that must be coursing through your system as you deal with all this. It sounds like you are coming face-to-face with just how alone -- yet interdependent -- we human beings are. When Izzy was 4 years old we were dealing with hospitals and cardiologists around how to repair her congenital heart condition. The procedure ended up in a good way, and the journey getting there was filled with so much stress (and learning). My goal at the time for myself was to be as happy a mom as possible for my kid even though i was in the midst of being terrified for her well-being. As you know I'm not exactly a "fake it till you make it" kind of gal -- so I had to summon up a a shift of perspective from someplace deep to get me through. I made a couple of dog tags and alternated wearing them around my neck. One read “Patience is possible in all moments. Yes, even this one.” The other one read, “Equanimity: May I remain lovingly undisturbed by the comings and going of phenomena.” Now I would add a third one: " May I remain lovingly undisturbed with how deeply disturbed I am by what is going on!" I’m imagining sending you a set of virtual dog tags.
Xxo
Wendy
On Saturday morning I was in Costa Rica at Envision Music Festival. As the morning sun rose through the jungle and the melodious vibes of Random Rab's sunrise set inspired ecstatic dance and smiles all around me, my heart was bursting feeling immense gratitude for every moment of life. On my return to the default world and hearing this news, I'm once again grateful that you, Michael, are continuing to embrace every moment and every lesson of life's precious gift and continue to be the miracle, be love, and share your sweet soul with all of us. Thank you and I love you no matter where you reside in body or spirit.
Michael, if you ever need someone to walk silently to the river with you (keeping out of your way, quiet as a mouse, and being there just in case) please don't hesitate to ask.
Hello Dear Michael. Hoping your medical team finds new solutions for you. I’m sure the thought of not being able to go solo to the river is a big bummer since it’s been such a source of healing. Perhaps you can find some “secret service” like folks to accompany you from almost invisible distances!?!
Sorry to hear about the seizure, but glad you are getting support and more wisdom surrounding them. We are always trying to hold you and your family in the light, and we will continue to do so. Peace!
Michael and Jenny, this sounds like a hard spot in a challenging journey, and I'm so glad you're not alone. I'm reminded of rock climbing, when your muscles and body are strained as you lift yourself up to a higher hold. But maybe that metaphor doesn't work. I'm sitting with my father in hospice these days witnessing the last leg of his journey. It doesn't seem like a climb for him where muscles are strained to achieve a goal. The journey looks like it is followed by letting go. What a mystery we're in.
Xxo
Wendy