I'm planning to ride my bike to the hospital tomorrow morning, for a 5:45 am check-in for my 5th brain surgery. The surgery is currently planned to start at 7:45 am, though, that might change. There's a team of physicists and techs flying in from Chicago to help set up the laser system. The same surgeon who has done all my previous surgeries, Dr. Nagib, will oversee the process. They'll drill a somewhat small hole on the left side of my head, which they'll use to insert the laser in, and burn the tumor from the center of it. Jenny will post updates as she can.
In recent days, I've heard ringing and some other sounds in my left ear, which I think are from the tumor pushing against my ear canal. I had similar sounds in my right ear, before my initial surgery on my right side. I'm also imagining the ringing as foreshadowing of healing to come.
MLK spoke of freedom ringing out from Stone Mountain in Georgia, a symbol of the cancer of racism. I pray that freedom also ring out from lasers burning away cancer in my brain. I imagine a heat that will be amazingly precise, so that it doesn't damage my language, or other abilities--and, at the same time, reverberates out freedom and healing to release any other cancerous cells in my brain, and a healing that ripples out through all of our relationships, releasing other cancers that get in the way of wellbeing.
The urgency and passion in the attached song's call to let it ring feels relevant to my situation too--the urgency to say and release what I need to now, while I know that I can--coupled with the surrender of knowing it is primarily a time to receive, from my deep trust of Dr. Nagib, from all of your prayers and love, and from grace beyond any imagination or words I have. Let it Ring.