Dear loved ones,

This is Melanie on my mom’s account.

How are you? 

I apologize that it’s been so long since I’ve last updated. I’ve been very sick and trying to troubleshoot with my medical team what exactly is going on. I’ve missed doctor appointments for the first time. I almost had to take trips to the emergency room a few times - thankfully I got better on my own.

Last weekend I literally slept 3 days in a row - day and night. The 4th day I had no energy and was in bed all day.

I’ve improved a bit since then, thankfully, but cannot seem to shake the lethargy and other painful side effects I have had from my cancer treatment.

Because of this, I’ve been super isolated, which has been rather depressing. 

One of my doctors on my team said that he actually has expected me to feel like this. The strength and progress I’ve had up until this point has been an anomaly. This is not very encouraging to hear as I’m not sure if this is my future, or if it’s just a Season. Of course I’m hopeful for the latter.

I have noticed a pattern in my health where I abscond after open studios and the holidays because I push myself so much and then crash in the Winter. Like a bear in hibernation. I’m hoping this is all that’s going on - a pattern of recovery - and I’ll defrost as Spring appears. I have so many sculptures to create! 

My numbers overall continue to be good! Gotta take the good with the bad.

I very sadly found out last week through a form letter that my favorite (and 6th) oncologist is leaving Cedars in April 😭 I emailed her immediately and spoke with my social worker as I’m devastated. She’s been such a positive force in my care - a game changer! 

She and my social worker assured me that I’ll be referred to an excellent oncologist in her place and I will still be able to meet with her now and again via telehealth. This was a comfort, but I’m still very sad. 

My oncologist is the center of my team, so whoever takes over my care is extremely important!

As far as upcoming exams: I have a brain MRI tomorrow (Tuesday) with a follow up appointment on Wednesday and also April. 

Next week I have a PET/CT test followed by my regular monthly oncology exam. This appointment includes my monthly bloodwork and the dreaded bone injection. 

Another sad event that happened in December is the world lost an unparalleled artist to cancer, Tanya Ragir. She was a mentor, colleague and friend of mine who was diagnosed only a year and a half ago. I’ll miss her! She was a firecracker and did so much for me! She was a fellow figurative sculptor and educator. 

I know this update isn’t a fun one, but it’s where things are at. I can’t see the way before me. None of us can, of course. Each day is a gift and I continue to do my best to remain positive.

I have missed you all so much - following your lives on social media. Sharing my art and life with you on the regular. Please know I love getting your messages - I know I have catching up I look forward to. 

I have continued to draw, though I’ve slowed down a bit. It still brings me such joy. 

As do you! Thank you so much for being on this journey with me! I appreciate you with all my heart ❤️ 

With love, gratitude and friendship,

Melanie 

Photo info:

1. Bubble Abstract drawing I created in January 
2. Gwenhwfar Reagan James and I Nov. 2023. A beautiful soul sister who modeled for my WILLA sculpture and introduced me to Tanya Ragir. My first still life painting is up on the book shelf behind us - I was 18 when I painted this. 
3. Tanya Ragir and I in my studio with my sculpture WILLA 2015. May she Rest in Peace 💔
4. Tanya and I at Hauser and Wirth “Be Here Now” event 2016. Photo by EMS 
5. Me with a Johnny Cash photo at Cedars. By Leigh Wiener 1962