Hello sweetie, I wish I could be there and hold your hand while you're going through this, even though that wouldn't make the nausea go away. It's probably okay to cry, although I suppose you won't know that for sure unless you do. And I sure don't blame you for wanting to. Chemo sucks just as bad as fucking cancer. And I hope you're one of the 20%.

It's a lot. I'm glad you're on Neulasta, though (despite the possible side effects). Husband got it during his chemo, and his neutrophils stayed sturdy after the first drop when he had basically none, yikes. He didn't have any notable effects from the Neulasta. I hope the same for you.