Journal entry by Adair Arnold —
What a difference a year can make. This Halloween was so very different from the last, but the feeling still haunted me (and Crawf). For weeks now it has, so I am happy to see this holiday come and go, and now we are through it! Last Halloween May was officially diagnosed with Leukemia and I only remember that somehow in a haze I drove home from the hospital and carved pumpkins with the other kids for an hour before they went trick or treating with dad who traded off with me from the hospital after the pumpkin carving… and we waited to tell them the news for another day or two.
This Halloween May was a rosy-cheeked kitty cat, a “sparkle tiger kitty”, RUNNING furiously from house to house and scootering with all her might until she could move no more. At some point she got tired of collecting candy and instead just wanted go pet every dog she could see in a house or walking on the street. She laughed and smiled and told me before every house, “mom. Mom!!!! ‘member, you say sparkle and I’ll ring the door for a treat…come ON mom we gotta go trick or treat at that house!!!” The girl is a total fire ball. I had a dear friend over from out of town Saturday and I told my friend that Mays full-time demandingness and stubborn persistence - well, that sometimes it was exhausting to be yelled at so much in one day by a three year old who talks like a 17 year old. To this my friend replied, “well isn’t it so great that she has such a fire in her, hasn’t she needed it!!? Hasn’t it has served her well!” And I stopped cold and thought to myself, my god yes you are so right…thank you for reminding me and thank goodness she’s such a spicy fighter, it has certainly gotten her through a year of impossible times that any child would want nothing to do with.
We are in a good place but it sure hasn’t come easy, and we are still constantly hoping for Mays continued success…at every doctor visit I still hold my breathe hoping for everything to be right, with every fever I can’t help but wonder whether it could be anything abnormal. The last year has taught us so much and been such an experience, one that I would not wish on any family, one that has tested our strength and resilience and stamina, but nonetheless one that has brought us closer, forced us to examine ourselves and find a way to try to see all the good that is in this life. We are so thankful for our many friends, our extended family, and our dedicated medical team for helping us through this challenge, then and still now!
It has been a surprisingly tough couple of months, May started maintenance but with a bang. We were in and out of the ER every other week after school started and then stayed out of school for a couple of weeks after spending nearly a week in the hospital with RSV. That took it out of us. But slowly and surely it seems like we are spending less time at the clinic and more time getting back to life :) Our sweet May is a strong and fun and {mostly} happy and charming and genuine and mad and imaginative and animal/ princess/baby loving gal. We’re getting through this and we will continue to until it’s all just a memory!
Hope you all had a safe and spooky Halloween 🧡🖤 lots of love
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