One month ago today Matt passed away. It is something I can not get my head around yet. Grief has changed us all. Some changed a little & some of us changed so much we do not recognize ourselves.
Today marks the first day of football camp at West High School too. Matt would have been there with his friends. I feel he was there in spirit. I know some of his teammates felt him too.
Our entire family is still in a fog…Did it really happen?
Finding a new routine or a new normal has been an odd burden of heart ache, anger and necessity. I can hardly catch my breath sometimes. Matt had a way of putting an energy in my/our day that is matched by no other. I miss his taste in music, the smell of his hair, and his amazing friends. I miss his games & picking him up after practices. I miss seeing him eating breakfast at the end of the island every morning then asking to get Taco Bell after a game or practice. He loved the chicken quesaritos.
I worry about Eva, Tom & Katie. We talk about Matt. We cry. I asked Tom what he missed most about Matt. Tom said, ”Everything Mom. I miss everything about Matt.” Exactly. Everything.
This is where we are today.
Thank you all for your love & support.
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