I met with the oncologist a week ago. She says I'm healing up just fine and wrote me a prescription for tamoxifen. This is a drug that blocks estrogen and progesterone receptors. It reduces the risk of breast cancer coming back by 30% to 50% and reduces the risk of a new cancer developing in the other breast by about 50%. I will take it for many years.

My radiation sites were really bothering me last week, but I feel great now. It was wonderful to see the doctor and put phase one (lumpectomy) and two (radiation) of treatment behind me. I started phase three (tamoxifen) immediately. The doctor was so matter-of-fact. Doc: "Do you have any questions about tamoxifen?" Me: "Yes, all of them. I don't know anything." Which wasn't exactly true. I had read the handout and spoken with Lori, Darcy, and a few others who had taken it.

That was a week ago, and it seems to be agreeing with me. I'm getting my energy back. The radiation sites continue to peel, but they no longer hurt or itch. The areas around the incision sites are still thick and hard, but softening more each day. 

Now, I am turning to assess the needs of my home, my health, my heart, and my finances. I joined a health club, FINALLY was assigned a counselor to support me during my cancer treatment, am gathering information and setting up systems to manage my own finances, and am so enjoying time with friends and family. Thank you to those who continue to stop by, text, call; join me for meals, walks, yoga, coffee, concerts! softball games!; provide scotcheroos, chaga, elderberry tonic, pilsner...

None of us would want anyone in our lives to experience cancer or heartbreak, but for me the cancer is a blip and my heartbreak comes on the heels of a big and beautiful love. When I need to stave off moments of fear and distress, I remind myself that all is well and all will be well. In the book, Deep Survival, the author examines the difference between those who survive and those who do not, in emergency situations where their actions affect the outcome. The author found that the key to survival in those cases was to see and accept the situation as it is, not what you wanted it to be, not what you thought it would be. Accept what is true, then move forward from there, one step at a time.

I know there is sky upon sky of possibility. My legs feel a little wobbly right now and my heart and chest a little tender, but I'll find my way, one step at a time. And I sure do appreciate your company along the way. Thank you from the bottom of my tender heart, that is beating strongly, just below my frankenbreast. Lub dub