Journal entry by Marisa Bertini —
I know it’s been a while since my last journal entry. I’ll blame it on a busy summer! I’ve been blessed with pain-free days, weeks and months. A few months ago, the immunotherapy caused an issue with my thyroid. We were able to get it under control within a month. This week I’ve been experiencing headaches, joint pain, lower back pain and an itchy, red rash on my cheeks. Also, my blood sugar is very high (242). These are all new side-effects of the immunotherapy. We are now working to get these things under control. In the meantime, I’m tired and uncomfortable. Sometimes I’m even in pain. When I’m feeling uncomfortable, I talk about it. I sound worse than my 80 year old grandmothers but...humor me. ;-)
Throughout this journey, I’ve done a good job hiding my pain with positive journal entries, thick make-up and a perma-smile. I’ve also done a good job living a life of gratitude despite my diagnosis. I’ve done such a good job that I think some people forget that I’m still going through treatment and that I have to live with cancer for the rest of my life.
Everyone also knows my kids were amazing over the past 6 months. They were around to see their mom through surgery, chemo and the aftermath. I wanted their summer to be special and stress-free. So, my Dad took Ethan on their annual trip to Alaska and I took Elisa on a girl’s trip to Hilton Head. We hadn’t been on a vacation since last August. I got comments from family about why I didn’t take them home to NY? Or how could I take a vacation when I’d been “off” for months with my illness? I know most of you will understand this but that 4.5 months at home was NO vacation. My kids needed some time to be kids after months of dealing with very scary, grown-up realities.
Today, I am grateful for:
1) Compassionate friends - There are so many of you! You know who you are. Thanks for listening to me.
2) Kids Visit to upstate NY - My Dad is taking Ethan and Elisa to visit his side of the family in 2 weeks. Thanks, Dad!
3) Newborn Babies - One of my closest friends had a baby last week...can’t wait to hold him! We had a few visits from babies in the workplace too. Just makes the day so much better!
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