It's been a minute since I have been on. Were to even start. The last couple of weeks mariaha has been blessed with so much love from people all around the world. November 9th we had a celebration of life/memorial for mariaha. She visited with the whole family and even played and had a beautiful princess party with her sibling and cousins. About a week ago we realized the cancer has spread and now she has developed sleep apnea. Its heart gushing. Seeing your child struggle to breath or even stop breathing. It's been rough on this mamma I'm so frighten by everything it's hard to sleep or do anything. I just want to stay and hold her 24/7. I'm not ready. I will never be ready to let go even though she tells me all the time mommy I'm not scared I can see Jesus and the Angel's. I'm scared to be honest but at the same time I feel the safness that my daughter is wrapped in Jesus's arms. I still fill like everything this last couple of months has been a nightmare and someone will wake me up from it. I hate cancer period. I hate what it can do to a family but I also hate what it does to a mother who has a child dying from this nasty disease. Anyways Mariaha is on oxygen most of the day ontop of breathing treatments and morphine to keep her comfertable f uh r time remaining.