About this time last year I heard about a new blood test called Signatera. The test takes a tissue sample from original tumor pathology and makes a custom blood test. The goal is to see if there is any microscopic levels of cancer still in the bloodstream. The results come back either positive or negative for detecting it. Negative means there is no cancer in your blood. A positive means there is, and they say on average predicts reoccurrence 6-9 months in advance. 

My oncologists were all apprehensive about it because it’s new science and it’s tricky to know what to do with a positive test. They can’t treat cancer if they don’t know where it is, and being stressed (which would *absolutely* accompany a positive result) would only make things worse. 

I debated it for a long time- but my oncologist (whom I love) had a plan for a positive result which would give me access to more testing than I would be having normally. Because now I’m in a monitoring season. I am seen by my my care team every three months. 

So I got the test- and my results came back NEGATIVE! Meaning there is no trace of cancer in my blood stream. *cue tears* Thank you Jesus! 

We are so thankful. As Justin said ‘I can feel it in my stomach.’ The gratitude is visceral.

Having cancer was so hard and heavy and scary. The treatment was brutal. I still remember when they handed me the paper with the graph that had all the infusions, the surgery timeline, the radiation and Xeloda (oral chemo) ‘if needed.’ I remember thinking ‘I just need to get through these 6 months’ and ‘we’ll I won’t need that.’ Makes me chuckle and shrug. Blessings. I just didn’t know. Didn’t know it would require everything. 18 months of active treatment and 3 surgery’s (I got number 3 scheduled for August 28th- I got this!). It felt like a daunting mountain. And now I’m here on the other side. 

My hair is growing back, my body feels mostly normal. I have such compassion for people walking similar roads to mine it floors me. I’m wondering what God has in store with all this. 

I heard Tim Keller say that some people get taken in an instant, but others get the gift of facing their mortality everyday to become more holy. That he (who recently graduated to heaven after a 20+ year journey with cancer) got the opportunity to become more holy. I have thought of it over and over since I heard it. 

I pray God uses this part of my story to make me more holy. To know what really matters. To clarify what doesn’t. To pray, to love, to serve, to notice and savor *this moment* of my everyday life.

I’m cancer free yall.