June 14, 2021 - Update . . . no date
Greetings, to all.
I have yet to respond to the many kind words sent in cards and emails . . . I'm told I can take about a year before the responses by me are considered truly delinquent. Meanwhile, the cards sit here by the computer and I look thru them occasionally . . . the love and remembrances are comforting and none are taken for granted. Please be patient with me.
People have been asking about the memorial, distribution of ashes, and "now what?" Well, I'm living in a rather disheveled house, knowing I have got to clean things up, but am still dealing with grief, "life after . . .," and my own anxiety and depression. But I'm doing remarkably well, considering . . . actually, I don't know considering what, since this is a first time experience for me (and OK to have it be a first and last). So there's no control group. But I'm sleeping fairly well and actually do get a thing or two accomplished almost every day. However, I have also managed the art of pushing a "to do" item from one day to the next on my electronic calendar (something I couldn't do on my hard-copy date book of many years past).
So, as for the memorial . . . I had hoped to hold it near Butch's birthday (Sept. 2) this year, but, in reviewing those who want to attend, current situation, and future possibilities (as far as travel restrictions and precautions to take for gatherings), I have elected to hold off. I have been in close contact with the family that will be hosting the "event" at their "barn" up near where I live in Lake Mathews and we have settled on next spring . . . so just hold that open! (Joking . . . I mean, not about planning to attend, but about holding out an entire season, just in case attendance can be arranged.) We definitely want it to be held after the "cold" months (always something of a joke, but the rains of February and even March can put a damper - pun intended - on an activity held partly outdoors). But we also don't want to plan it into the summer when the heat up where I live can be unbelievably . . . well, HOT! So I'm thinking of April or May. Let's see how this change in "pandemic" status, as just instituted here in California (no longer categorizing activities according to a "colored tier" system), opening up businesses with no restrictions (mask, distance, # permitted). Who knows, that could trigger another wave of cases (I pray not, but am sort of used to the careful lifestyle and doubt I'll be jumping in any pools with large groups or attending any festivals, conferences, or conventions much before fall, if then). I am also hoping that the memorial will involve a 2-part experience (attend one or both): a church gathering in our chapel (down the hill in Corona) in the morning and a music gathering at the friend's home/barn in the afternoon. We'll see how that materializes, so stay tuned, and send me a private message if you want to be included on any "guest list."
And, then, what about the ashes? They were sent to me via USPS! Butch's remains weren't cremated until he'd been dead about a month (this, due to the "wait list" for cremation, because of CoVid deaths clogging the system . . . seems that most crematoriums are not equipped with extra ovens, I guess, in case there's a pandemic). I did get a lovely box, which they call an "urn" (not appearing to be anything I'd affix that label to). I have not placed the ashes in that receptacle because it is not easy to open and close and I do want his ashes distributed according to his wishes: the foot of Superstition Mountain in Arizona, near where he grew up. I believe that activity will be taking place the last week of August. It's not planned to be a public event, but I'm not making it fully private. (Yes, I plan to keep a few ashes back, but not likely in that fancy box.) Meanwhile, his ashes, still in the shipping box and labeled "Cremated Remains," sits on my kitchen counter (I'm afraid to put them elsewhere for concern over losing them in the household chaos).
So, there you have it. Life is going on and, for those who are sensitive to such things, I believe Butch is right here with me, hopefully approving of my behaviors (binge-watching science, history, and geography related programs on Discovery +, probably more than I should, but I'm OK with that . . . at least for now).
Love, peace, & health,
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- Virginia SulickThank you for the update. Sending you positive thoughts, whatever you decide will be perfect in love.6/19/21
- Cheryl DubuqueHugs to you! I am sure Butch is watching over you!6/15/21