Just my luck though, the doc had a hard time getting my gallbladder out because there were so many stones inside of it. He was forced to make a larger incision at the top of my belly as well as the 3 others for the gastroscope part. He said the bile wasn’t even able to go into the gallbladder because the stones were blocking the tube so why even bother having the thing. 

The recovery went pretty good, it was painful at times but I survived. The worst part is that during this time is when Alyssa moved the rest of her stuff out for good. She moved it all out on Friday March 6th. It was not an easy day for me at all. When she gave me the key, she picked up Remy and then hugged me with him in between us, it was so hard and so sad, we both were crying. I seriously couldn’t believe she was actually leaving. I have never felt so lost. I was feeling self-destructive but didn’t care. And I know I shouldn’t have done this but I started drinking beer alone, all day long. So of course this stupid act led me to get even sadder and I ended up taking all of my lithium pills (30+) as well as some of the others in pill bottles that were not quite empty. But for some reason taking all those didn’t do “the job” & I actually woke up the next day but I was not doing good. OMG, I was throwing up & could barely walk or talk, I have super dark bruises all over my legs & they’re all swollen. It’s bad! It looks like someone beat the shit out of my legs & ankles. All I could do is sleep to feel normal again.

So, I don’t know what I was doing while those drugs were affecting me but it obviously wasn’t good. But I didn’t care at the time, I truly didn’t want to live anymore. I was just tired of life. And to tell you the truth every single day I’m still having a hard time with everything especially not having her here anymore. 

It’s going to take a long time to get back to me. :(