“You can’t wait until life isn’t hard enough to be happy.”  This is a quote from the singer on this powerful video. NightBirde is her stage name. She said this to Simon Cowell as he was asking her about her song, “It’s Okay” that she just sang on America’s Got Talent”. This is from her appearance last summer.

Her song made me think of my beautiful and amazing Lily (Lily Reedy Saunders). I felt Lily’s spirit as I listened to this fellow Metastatic Breast Cancer victim sing so beautifully. She sings about life and so many mistakes and struggles to find herself. She shares her story and sings that, “it’s okay if you’re lost sometimes, we’re all a little lost and it’s alright to feel lost some times. It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay.”

As I listened I felt this is something Lily would say to me today. I am in our home, alone, packing up or past life and getting ready to move… . It is devastatingly difficult to be doing this alone for so many months. Last November Dempsey made it clear he was done being a service dog. After four people failed to meet my criteria, an amazing family connected with me and Dempsey is making a beautiful impact on other lives. Packing up our life together and not having family to be there to reassure me, not having people who shared our life together to help me get through this incredibly difficult transition… It’s beyond heartbreaking. Today is also Lily’s mother’s official birthday. Mitsuye would be 101 today. She has been on my mind a lot today. So, as I sat down for dinner and I was looking through YouTube for entertainment, the story that NightBirde died today came up. I looked for her competition song (linked).

As I listened I felt like Lily and her mom were signing to me. Letting me know that it’s okay. It’s all okay. When I heard NightBirde say that “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard to be happy", I felt that is also what Lily is also saying. You see, as hard as it is to move out of here, I have found love again. I have found a way to let someone in and still have Lily forever, and dearly, in my heart. It’s hard to explain. I just know that Lily is with me, helping me move forward and letting me know that it’s okay. Life is still so very hard. So much loss. Yet, I can be happy even though life is still so very challenging. God bless you NightBirde and everyone PLEASE help me soon when I again start to work again to raise awareness on Metastatic Breast Cancer. We need to raise awareness to save so many beautiful lives. And, Happy Birthday Mitsuye!!!