Carol (Canyon)’s Story

Site created on October 17, 2020

"Life is what happens when you're making other plans." sang John Lennon. Indeed. Journey (aka #journeythe1dog) and I embraced a new life: a surprise, multi-month stay in Albuquerque, rather than heading south of the border for a while, as "planned." 
UPDATE 04/12/21:  My time in ABQ is coming to an end, and I am gearing back up for the life of a FT nomad, on the road again in She Who by May 29th. This time, without a four-legged friend, at least for a while. Not much other than temperate climes guiding my direction at this point, for the third quarter of 2021, though it will begin in the Midwest, through June 23. (WHAAAAT??? I know; there are details in the Journal. ) I AM once again aiming to get to Baja next fall and spend the winter months on the Ensenada beach and ridgetop, soul-sistering with Janika, enjoying Pacific sunsets, eating fish tacos, and learning Spanish! I invite you to join me in that vision! 

UPDATE 01/10/21: Journey is gone now, I had to let her go on January 4th and there are a couple of Journal entries about that, if you're interested in the details. I've now seen my doc again and need to keep close by her and keep on working with her. ABQ is my home through at least April, now. 

UPDATE 11/15/20:  We have been through all the scariest bits and my heart has settled down on a couple of new medications. My heart seems to be holding sinus rhythm most of the time but not ALL the time, and I still need to have a sleep study before I go. With COVID spiking in the area, the hospitals are overwhelmed right now. No call from the Sleep Lab to schedule, yet, and it may be a minute. With the holidays approaching, I can only imagine this is going to get worse before it gets better...even in a state with a conscious, science-oriented Governor. So, the story begun on 10/17 (below) continues...as does our gratitude for ALL the love and support we've received in so many forms. God, the Love is truly everywhere!

Back story, original posted 10/17: As we continue our full-time life as RV vagabonds, and on our way to Ensenada Baja, we stopped for one day here in ABQ for a check-up. As part of managing my 15-year journey with Atrial Fibrillation, I get an EKG every 6 to 12 months when things are going well. This time, I learned that things are not going so well anymore. In the past year, there have been significant changes in my heart's condition and function. So, no Baja. Here in ABQ we'll stay, working with an excellent specialist in heart arrhythmias and using a world-class hospital system...but in a city where I have no close friends or family nearby. I'm expecting to be here, getting tests and determining appropriate new treatment(s), for the foreseeable future. Some will require a day of outpatient, some might include inpatient nights; worst case scenarios involve possible (though unlikely) emergency room visits and subsequent hospital admissions. Managing all the logistics and tasks will require a few concentric circles of support for me and Journey. And all of you who love me, want to know how this walk in the land of doctors is going, or seek to be helpful--y'all need one place to go whenever you want to know. That's what this site is all about.

Newest Update

On the Road Again

Journal entry by L Carol Scott (Canyon) —

Well, a bit more than another month later and I’m going to call this my final update on this site. My sleep study is finally completed (selfie full of adhesive tape). My last appointment and last echocardiogram (for here and now) are this Thursday. 

Then I will return my rental car and pack away all that has been taken out during these two weeks of transition. I’ve enjoyed this RV park—it’s charming (hubcap pyramid and some adorbs vintage cars and campers).  I’m fully reconnecting with She Who as my home. Dumping the tanks yesterday with my new sewer hose (remember mine was stolen at my first house here in ABQ?)—that was a good step, to believe I remember how to live in an RV after 5-1/2 months in houses. 

Moving back into our former shared home brings memories of Journey. Some are quite tangible—like some of her kibble on the floor and drifts of her hair to vacuum out of the shower stall. Others are behavior patterns—like lifting her into bed, empty cupboard space where her meds and treats were stored, arranging for her needs to go along on a car ride or to be left behind for a bit. 

The way I live with emotions now, mostly, is to feel them rise, let them fill my heart and touch me, then let them ebb away again. I don’t clutch onto the grief anymore, no more than I clutch the relief. And I’m honestly allowing myself to feel both. I miss her often and will continue to notice her absence now and then. I will continue to feel grief in varying amounts. And it’s true that life without her is simpler...by a lot. And a lot less expensive.  I will continue to feel relief with my grief. And then there is the guilt. And the joy recalled...

Emotions are, for me, always complex, layered, and mixed. And that goes for return to the FT road from this medical pause. Excited. Scared. Curious. Relieved. Uncertain. Overwhelmed. Joyous...

Saturday I will begin meandering E/NE toward KC, where I will stay for a couple weeks in mid-June, before turning NW toward Portland. I hope to be up there in the cool by mid-July. In mid-August I will be in the Bay Area for a little while, at least. 

The plan for the rest of the year is less certain but does include setting up and visiting a primary care doc and AFib specialist in the San Diego area, and getting checked out again before going to Ensenada for some of the winter...finally! (That’s where I was headed when I stopped here, you may recall.)

Look for me again on the open road or on Facebook. This will be the last time I post here on Caring Bridge, god willing! The ABQ Cardio Journey is coming to its end. 

Thank you all for everything!! 💙💙
~Carol/Canyon 
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